takes two to tango
Sunday, December 03, 2006
convenient.
What's a normal window shopping day for you?
For me, it's going to a mall (that's conveniently near) and looking at stuff (doesn't necessarily have to be conveniently priced) and sometimes it even means trying stuff on (that's when you regret having those convenient snacks lately).
Ok, kids. What's our word for today? Convenient
"Something favorable to one's comfort, purpose, or needs."
Yes that's right.
"Easy to reach. Accessible."
Good, any more?
"7-11s."
Yep.
"Ministop."
Ok.
"It's like having a gas station with a toilet when you're in the car and you've been hogging all the beer since you're not driving."
Uh, good example.
"It's like not having to tell a lie about how a person dresses or smells 'cause the person you're talking about is dead anyway or maybe just out of the room."
Oh-kaay....
"It's like a guy marrying a lady with a hot daughter and his grandfather marrying his stepdaughter and them having a son together. Then his stepdaughter becomes his grandmother, and his grandson becomes his brother, and his grandfather is his son-in-law, and his wife is his grandfather's mother-in-law, and he's his grandfather's father-in-law!"
mouth open. blink.
As I was saying...
I was at the mall--Ladies Department--trying on a pair of jeans (I needed them like I needed a third eye). In between zipping the pair up and thinking if I still had my cowboy shirt in my closet and if I should start wrapping my gifts, I heard a woman shouting righteous indignation. (Ok, she wasn't shouting, but everyone in the vicinity shut up so her very loud voice was heard way over to the next department).
"I'm just asking for a plastic bag! How cheap you are! I spent over P1000 here and how do you expect me to carry all of it if your plastic bags are like these? I'm returning all of these! I don't want it anymore! There! To teach you a lesson! If you can wait around for a plastic bag, well, I can't! I have things to do! I'm a very busy woman! Department store rules? You should know your rules! Read them! You should treat your customer right!"
NOTE: The girl at the cashier was just a bagger and not the cashier herself. Much of the monologue above was repeated with different stresses and varying tones. All of this was done in the vicinity of the Department Store liason officers and other curious shoppers. Obviously done by a PROFESSIONAL. DO NOT TRY THIS WITHOUT MONEY AND BRAINS TO BACK YOU UP. Practice only when within the safety of your room and in front of a mirror.
The rest of the day, my friend and I joked around: "Do you want a plastic bag?"
Ok, kids. I leave you with this quote:
People seldom do what they believe in. They do what is convenient, then repent.
Bob Dylan
For me, it's going to a mall (that's conveniently near) and looking at stuff (doesn't necessarily have to be conveniently priced) and sometimes it even means trying stuff on (that's when you regret having those convenient snacks lately).
Ok, kids. What's our word for today? Convenient
"Something favorable to one's comfort, purpose, or needs."
Yes that's right.
"Easy to reach. Accessible."
Good, any more?
"7-11s."
Yep.
"Ministop."
Ok.
"It's like having a gas station with a toilet when you're in the car and you've been hogging all the beer since you're not driving."
Uh, good example.
"It's like not having to tell a lie about how a person dresses or smells 'cause the person you're talking about is dead anyway or maybe just out of the room."
Oh-kaay....
"It's like a guy marrying a lady with a hot daughter and his grandfather marrying his stepdaughter and them having a son together. Then his stepdaughter becomes his grandmother, and his grandson becomes his brother, and his grandfather is his son-in-law, and his wife is his grandfather's mother-in-law, and he's his grandfather's father-in-law!"
mouth open. blink.
As I was saying...
I was at the mall--Ladies Department--trying on a pair of jeans (I needed them like I needed a third eye). In between zipping the pair up and thinking if I still had my cowboy shirt in my closet and if I should start wrapping my gifts, I heard a woman shouting righteous indignation. (Ok, she wasn't shouting, but everyone in the vicinity shut up so her very loud voice was heard way over to the next department).
"I'm just asking for a plastic bag! How cheap you are! I spent over P1000 here and how do you expect me to carry all of it if your plastic bags are like these? I'm returning all of these! I don't want it anymore! There! To teach you a lesson! If you can wait around for a plastic bag, well, I can't! I have things to do! I'm a very busy woman! Department store rules? You should know your rules! Read them! You should treat your customer right!"
NOTE: The girl at the cashier was just a bagger and not the cashier herself. Much of the monologue above was repeated with different stresses and varying tones. All of this was done in the vicinity of the Department Store liason officers and other curious shoppers. Obviously done by a PROFESSIONAL. DO NOT TRY THIS WITHOUT MONEY AND BRAINS TO BACK YOU UP. Practice only when within the safety of your room and in front of a mirror.
The rest of the day, my friend and I joked around: "Do you want a plastic bag?"
Ok, kids. I leave you with this quote:
People seldom do what they believe in. They do what is convenient, then repent.
Bob Dylan
posted by glady at 12/03/2006 09:29:00 PM
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