The birds and the bees caught us unprepared!

I just read this--IMHO--hilarious and eye-opening article in The Philippine Star. It's called Sex Coach by Tony Montemayor.

First off, I thought it totally sounded like it was written by a dad. HAHAHAHA!!!

The author puts himself in the shoes of fathers who might be coming up with the "birds and the bees" talk with their daughters. The funny thing is, he uses sports analogies--particularly those from basketball--to give dads pointers on how to do "the talk".

Even if I didn't really see my dad as a basketball enthusiast when he was alive, (in fact, I didn't know he could even play until my 6th Grade Family Sports Fest), I can't picture him using sports to sort out his conversations with my sisters and I.

Maybe Sun Tzu's Art of War, but not sports...

I don't think my parents ever gave me or my sisters that talk, though. Nope... And I won't go telling you all how I learned. You can ask me when you see me. XD

Going back, though, Mr. Montemayor mentioned in his article that parents can give the initial birds and bees talk when the kids are between 4 to 8 years old. Then the responsibilities, values, and consequences parts when they're 11 to 13 years old.

Yeah... Just about right... If you're the type who'd talk to your kids or younger kids who grew up with you.

Well, that part of the article reminded me of what happened to me few weeks ago. I brought my 9 year old nephew with me to watch The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants 2--he wanted to go watch a movie with me and this so happened to be the one I wanted to watch.

It's a PG-13 or Parental Guidance-13. That means for kids below 13, they have to be accompanied by an adult.

Okay... So he watched a bit, but I wasn't really sure if he was even paying attention. He watches all sorts of DVDs at home, so I pretty much knew that he understood what he was watching.

Then comes the scene after Amber Tamblyn's character, Tibby, finally gave up her virginity to Leonardo Nam's character, Brian (who surprisingly has a nice set of abs).

The scene in the movie theater sort of goes like this...

Brian (towel around his waist) tells Tibby (nekkid under the blanket) that it broke.

"T'gwads, what broke?"
"The condom. Shhh."

Tibby is in shock and can't believe asks if the condom is even real. Brian tells her that his uncle gave it to him for his graduation two years ago.

"What's a condo?"
Someone at the back of our seat giggles.
"A condommm. It's what a guy wears so the girl won't get pregnant."

Tibby can't believe that it would wear out like that when she claims that those things last so long in land fills.

"What does it look like?"
Someone half chokes, half snorts from somewhere around us.
"Uhm, like a balloon."

Tibby feels lost and doesn't know what to do. Brian doesn't know how to tell her to relax.

"How do you wear it?"
Again, the choke-snort.
"Shhh! Just watch the movie!"

Tibby gets her stuff and leaves the apartment and goes through scene after scene of seeing people with babies.

Silence...

The rest you can watch.
I never did get to explain after. Not even up to this minute... Oh well... I guess the time will happen on its own...

Although I do doubt I'll have to explain soon.