takes two to tango

In this kaleidoscope world...

2009-03-06T13:50:00.000+08:00

Rest in peace, Francis M.

US Embassy in Manila February 23, 2009

2009-02-23T22:04:00.006+08:00

A few days ago, President Obama signed the American Recovery and Reinvestment Act for 2009.

Filipino WWII veterans and their service during the war are going to be compensated with a lump-sum depending on their citizenship. To some this will be an additional benefit, specially Scouts who have long been receiving benefits from the US. For others, this will be the first time they will receive anything from the US government, because they were either POWs (Prisoners Of War) during the time the US government asked for a list of active soldiers at the end of the war, or because of they were incapacitated and could not report after, or because they were Filipino citizens, or because their papers were lost, burnt, flooded, stolen--you name it.

I've heard my share of stories of how some veterans find it unfair that they were launched and fought side by side with American soldiers, yet were not given compensation for it. I have even heard that some have even survived the Bataan Death March, yet are only given less than a fourth of lower-ranked soldiers were given just because those lower ranked soldiers were able to submit their names while they waited in camp.

But those are stories of long ago. And sadly, many of these veterans have already died. One of them, being my grandfather. Ah, the stories my mom would tell about him...

But today's story is all about the chaos that ensued at the US Embassy. There were no classes today. Pres. Arroyo declared February 25 a holiday, but moved it to the 23rd instead so as not to disrupt the work week.

So we decided to hie on over to the US Embassy to file MommyLa's claim since she's an American citizen and she served as a military nurse during the war. Her rank was 2nd Lt.

We left the house at around 6:15am and arrived at the US Embassy at around 6:45am. The place was already packed with people! Mostly the veterans who had to stay under a huge tent outside because the embassy's waiting area inside the court couldn't accommodate the number of people.

There was a line of people on wheelchairs and all the seats were taken. So MommyLa was pointed to a spot where some veterans were beside the tent. She didn't have to stand long anyway because the 4th row of veterans were called inside and MommyLa's group took over.

As the minutes turned to hours, more and more veterans arrived. Most of the male veterans wore their uniform's hats, or some vest signifying that they were veterans. A few wore their own funky fashion--leather jackets, pink Chuck Taylors, or Hawaiian polo shirts to name a few. A few really made the effort to come in full uniform. Early comers had huge smiles on their faces as they walked in line going inside the building. Many, in their show of pride for being recognized continued to talk as if they were still in active duty. The ones who were still able to walk trudged dutifully and cheerfully. The ones in wheelchairs tried to show people that they were still able to move their limbs but stretching and jabbing their arms.

I couldn't help but admire all of these men and women and many times I teared up when I saw veterans who could barely walk or was being carried by a family member to the line. Because it was a holiday, the embassy didn't expect the number of people who showed up. There were sooo many who had to be held up as they waited for a wheelchair.

I was horrified at seeing some people carry huge metal oxygen tanks in their borrowed wheelchairs. I couldn't help but cry out when I saw a veteran being carried while he was seated in a plastic chair by a boy who had to be only 5'2 and about 16 years old. His skin was gray and flaky. Like it was already decomposing...

Filipinos and Americans from the embassy went to check on the old man and declared that he still has a pulse. So they rushed him inside to get his thumbprint and his picture.

People from the embassy were all very courteous to the old folks. This was in spite of the fact that people were rushing in from another temporary claim area, because they were all told to head to the US Embassy after the temporary area reached their quota. Unfortunately some of them were trying to convince the old folks to come back like another time because the filing of claims would last until February 2010. What they didn't understand was that a lot of these old folks and their families wanted to go immediately because they weren't sure if they were gonna live very long or even until the next day. The rules said that only the widows of veterans who filed a claim could collect. So there was a small rally earlier of widows and their families who have been waiting since 1946 for any sort of compensation. Just to have their husbands die a few weeks short of the signing of the Recovery Act... Sad really...

You'd hear personal stories left and right. You'd smell the mix of Ben Gay, white flower, green oil, Omega painkiller, oldness, mustiness...

MommyLa was able to get in the waiting area inside the embassy courtyard at past 2:00pm. She was also able to finally get out at 3:15pm. Every single one of the veterans and their accompanying family members or friends were told to keep the paper claim they were given and not to have it photocopied. Because some unscrupulous people could use it to claim the benefit instead if they're not careful..

So we'll just have to wait until they say that the money can be claimed or until they say that there are changes to the Act once more...

Tell Me... (or again, post what you think would be appropriate...)

2009-02-23T19:24:00.000+08:00

She looked so chic
in her striped top and tight jeans
Her hair pulled back neatly
her face nice and clean
The guy beside her
is probly her new boyfriend
'Cause he keeps staring
and gazing at her to no end
He really musta felt
like a million bucks
As he held her smooth arm
with bracelets full of rocks
The way she sat down
reminded me of a glide
And she charmingly smiled
when their friend arrived
But her hushed tones
quite took me by surprise
It's like I had to do a double take
'Cept not with my eyes
'Cause the more she talked,
(promise, I'm not trying to be rude)
The more she sounded like a dude!

I couldn't really tell
from her graceful silhouette
But I noticed her shoulders
were about as wide as you could get!
You probly couldn't tell
if you saw her at first glance
But those straight legs and lack of hips
weren't just by chance!
Her hands and sandaled feet
weren't even big, just a bit square
But I couldn't tell either
if I saw an adam's apple there
As the three of them left
I guess I'll just keep guessing
I just wonder what the guy will find
when they start undressing...

Shrill... (Or if you have a better title, post in it comments.)

2009-02-23T19:06:00.000+08:00

I haven't said this
in quite a while
But some girls' tiny voices
really ain't my style.
I find it grating
and painful to the ear
When I hear normal-sized people
force their voices to sound queer.
For some this sounds mean
and really quite biased
But I can't help it when groups of them compete
to see who laughs the highest.
Maybe some of them
were born with that kind of voice box
But it's no longer cute
when girls force if like they've got squeezed c*cks.
Isn't it difficult
to keep up the cute charade?
When I hear you
I feel like cutting someone with a blade.
I didn't come here to listen
to you act cutie patootie
But if your office mate wasn't gay
he'd leave you like you've got cooties.
I don't think any client would take you seriously
If they heard you now, they'd pull their business out immediately.
That tacky tight suit and voice like a apower puff girl
would be just enough to make anyone hurl.
Maybe you should stick to trying to look professional
The squeaky voice and your business suit just makes you look mental.

The birds and the bees caught us unprepared!

2008-11-11T18:41:00.006+08:00

I just read this--IMHO--hilarious and eye-opening article in The Philippine Star. It's called Sex Coach by Tony Montemayor.

First off, I thought it totally sounded like it was written by a dad. HAHAHAHA!!!

The author puts himself in the shoes of fathers who might be coming up with the "birds and the bees" talk with their daughters. The funny thing is, he uses sports analogies--particularly those from basketball--to give dads pointers on how to do "the talk".

Even if I didn't really see my dad as a basketball enthusiast when he was alive, (in fact, I didn't know he could even play until my 6th Grade Family Sports Fest), I can't picture him using sports to sort out his conversations with my sisters and I.

Maybe Sun Tzu's Art of War, but not sports...

I don't think my parents ever gave me or my sisters that talk, though. Nope... And I won't go telling you all how I learned. You can ask me when you see me. XD

Going back, though, Mr. Montemayor mentioned in his article that parents can give the initial birds and bees talk when the kids are between 4 to 8 years old. Then the responsibilities, values, and consequences parts when they're 11 to 13 years old.

Yeah... Just about right... If you're the type who'd talk to your kids or younger kids who grew up with you.

Well, that part of the article reminded me of what happened to me few weeks ago. I brought my 9 year old nephew with me to watch The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants 2--he wanted to go watch a movie with me and this so happened to be the one I wanted to watch.

It's a PG-13 or Parental Guidance-13. That means for kids below 13, they have to be accompanied by an adult.

Okay... So he watched a bit, but I wasn't really sure if he was even paying attention. He watches all sorts of DVDs at home, so I pretty much knew that he understood what he was watching.

Then comes the scene after Amber Tamblyn's character, Tibby, finally gave up her virginity to Leonardo Nam's character, Brian (who surprisingly has a nice set of abs).

The scene in the movie theater sort of goes like this...

Brian (towel around his waist) tells Tibby (nekkid under the blanket) that it broke.

"T'gwads, what broke?"
"The condom. Shhh."

Tibby is in shock and can't believe asks if the condom is even real. Brian tells her that his uncle gave it to him for his graduation two years ago.

"What's a condo?"
Someone at the back of our seat giggles.
"A condommm. It's what a guy wears so the girl won't get pregnant."

Tibby can't believe that it would wear out like that when she claims that those things last so long in land fills.

"What does it look like?"
Someone half chokes, half snorts from somewhere around us.
"Uhm, like a balloon."

Tibby feels lost and doesn't know what to do. Brian doesn't know how to tell her to relax.

"How do you wear it?"
Again, the choke-snort.
"Shhh! Just watch the movie!"

Tibby gets her stuff and leaves the apartment and goes through scene after scene of seeing people with babies.

Silence...

The rest you can watch.
I never did get to explain after. Not even up to this minute... Oh well... I guess the time will happen on its own...

Although I do doubt I'll have to explain soon.

Myspace.com Blogs - My Week with My One and Only - Christian MySpace Blog

2008-08-16T16:05:00.000+08:00

Link
This is from my baby's blog about our week together when I went to LA.
It was everything and more than what I wanted.

Thank you baby for everything. I love you!

10 Years Older on Vacation

2008-06-03T05:09:00.003+08:00

Face it. We all judge people based on their looks. Many of us make it a comfortable pastime as we sip coffee or eat at our favorite restaurant. And don't deny it, we are vicious and bitchy at times when appearances fall short a meter or two from "typical" or "pleasingly ordinary".

A show on TLC actually makes people come face-to-face with one of their worst nightmares: they are not what they think they look like.

10 Years Younger invite people who are still in denial to step into a soundproof display case in the middle of the two most appearance-driven cities in the world--Los Angeles and New York City. The host randomly asks complete strangers to critique the participant's looks and guess his/her age. In the studio afterwards, the participant hears the heartbreaking revelation from the strangers' comments and their guesses about the age. (Hey, I know all too well how heartbreaking it is). This is where a team of stylists (fashion, hair, and makeup), doctors, and dentists, endeavor to make the participant look at least a decade younger in a matter of ten days.

After this, the participant once again subjects him or herself under the vicious criticisms of strangers after a grueling week of trying to look and feel younger. In order to grab a mediocre form of happiness from comments about themselves looking somewhat closer to their real age or even younger.

The upkeep and maintenance must be hell.

But I find myself wondering how our Chinese genes faltered on me, somewhat, these past few months. I no longer fool the majority of people who once "carded" me or figured me to be at least 5 years younger than my real age.

I'm supposed to be on my vacation now, and I'm wondering how those age-multipliers creeped up on me... Was it stress from my thesis? (Although, I definitely feel like someone from those Stresstabs commercials). Or is it some other bizarre occurrence that happens nightly without me knowing--aliens? (I shudder).

Although, this hasn't really been an isolated incident. It's happened even when I was younger. I hadn't tapped into those Chinese genes of ours then. So, it was a shock to me when complete strangers and even friends who saw pictures of me just the year before (even just a month before I left), told me that I look older.

What has this vacation done to me?!

Sigh... All I know is that I'm looking forward to getting a haircut once I get back to the Philippines. That'll at least help take some of the years off...

Ok, back to my afternoon siesta.

tampon tampo

2008-04-04T09:17:00.006+08:00

I know it's been a while since my last blog.

Yes, yes. So, I'm going to do a Simon Cowell:

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry."

Believe me, rather difficult to find an interesting pic of Simon Cowell, aside from his "man boobs" picture in 2006. He looks the same in all his pictures!

Enough about him.

I woke up feeling rather uncomfortable. This morning is the third(?) day of my period. I've always been a rather sound sleeper. I rarely budge anymore than an inch or two as soon as I get knocked out and head for La La land. It's the same even when I have my period. Then again, early in the morning when eggs feel like dying on me some more, you get that feeling that's something's not right.

I give a frantic look to my side and there it is:

Spots of my womanhood on my otherwise immaculately clean bed--rumpled sheets aside (to quote romance novels).

So much for having any of those advertised Overnight Longs. I'd be better off using adult diapers (believe me, after seeing my grandmother's "thins" supply--which she refuses to use--I'm beginning to wonder).

"Why, oh why, oh whyyyy can't I find Tampax® Pearl or even o.b.® tampons and just have a panty liner as a backup?"

It's a pain to try finding a tampon anywhere in the Philippines. o.b.® tampons used to be easily available in Watson's and in Mercury Drug stores. Now I can't find them anywhere--tampons, I mean, not the stores, silly.

One reason I've heard time and again as to why it isn't popular here in this mainly Catholic country is that: "You lose your virginity."

Gee... Next thing you know, they'll be saying that you can grow back your hymen.

Oh wait, surgery can do that. But still!!!

OK, it's not like I can't use a regular or über thins pad with wings. It's just the inconvenience of worry about spots of womanhood ruining my otherwise glamorous outfit.

Not only that, but--here comes the crux of the matter--I can't wear a swim suit using a pad! You mean to tell me, I'll go out and tan myself and whoops! I've got wings!

My mom was taking delight at my dilemma and told me to go and color the wings on my pad to match my suit. Egad... That's my mom's evil humor for ya.

I refuse to think that I will not be able to find any tampons. So yes, I'll be heading out today or tomorrow just to go hunting. And yes, it'll be my fourth(?) day, but who cares? I'll be on a mission!

Some things should be kept out of the public's eyes

2008-03-03T16:20:00.003+08:00

March 3, 2008
Eavesdropping.
You can't help it specially when voices are so distinct and loud.
You can't help it either if someone's wearing something or not wearing anything and they're in plain sight.
I mean, they're practically screaming, "LOOK AT ME!!!"

That's what I found myself doing while chatting online with my baby.
I couldn't help it!!! My eyes were actually following a guy I thought I recognized. He moved to a seat diagonally across me with his back to me. Hmm... But that's another story. What caught my eye was the guy on his right....

The guy was in a polo shirt. He had a buzz cut and a backpack on the floor by his chair. He looked like any guy who was getting ready to go back to work.

He was in my line of sight--and so were the pictures of hot looking guys on a website. He was even posting comments on the pictures of young men with yummy abs, hot arses, and droolworthy faces.
Oh my... It kinda bothered me--and not in a good way.

I couldn't help but sneak glances at the scorching hot pictures he was checking out. Hmmm... I guess if you wanna see and weep over the hot bodies he was checking out here ya GO!GO!GO! Relax, it's free. Hehehe. I know you're dying to see.

March 9, 2008

Something about eavesdropping really makes an for an interesting pastime when you're in a net cafe.

I was emailing my aunt, when a guy sat beside me. Decent, baldie, actually pretty ordinary looking, although I might not give him a second look. He didn't even bother to check his mail, or other niceties, but he did check his friendster for a bit. Then he spent a good 45 minutes or so checking out a gay site.

Ahhh. The joys of anonymity.

lousy day.

2008-02-18T21:10:00.006+08:00

I just thought I'd let you all know that I had my outline defense today.
Outline, yes, first three chapters.
And yes, I began my thesis June last year and it's already February.

Well needless to say, I won't be graduating this semester.
I've already cried it out. Didn't help though because I still feel crummy.
I've done so much work from the beginning of the school year and I know that I still can't finish my thesis in this month alone.

I refuse to dwell on the "if only's". Like, if only I didn't get that prof as my adviser, or if only he'd only started checking our papers earlier this year, or if only I didn't pick that topic, or if only I just took an MBA instead I would've been done already and would have graduated cum laude...

To top it off, I lost my 1Gb flash drive--the one given to me, along with the M&M World key chain given to me as well. Good thing I have a spare flash drive and copies of my thesis and defense presentation in my computer. I cried about it and lost my appetite last night.

It sucks. It really does. But like Mommy said after my presentation, "If you can't do what you want, you do what you can."

I've wanted to graduate so badly, and it just came crashing down like that.
Even after my adviser congratulated me on a good defense, I didn't feel like celebrating at all.
So I just keep telling myself that if I don't get it done, I'll keep at it even if I'm living out of the country already. Believe me, it'd be a wonderful way out, but I want that diploma.

Sigh... I'll get to work some time this week. I wanna get as much as I can get done before this school year ends.

Top 50 Atheism Quotes

2008-01-26T18:10:00.000+08:00

I just came across a site called Left of Zen.
It's a site that compiles quotes and wonderful articles. Their promise is it's an escape from this hectic crazy world we're in, with premium content with a personal touch.

I personally enjoyed this compilation called the Top 50 Atheism Quotes. I don't have to be an atheist to see their point. I'll leave you to head to their site instead of going through the arduous task of copy-pasting everything here.

There's another site that I enjoyed. It's a blog called It's all a delusion. The author is an atheist with a wonderful sense of humor. Check out her compilation of Top Fifty Atheist T-Shirt/Bumper Sticker Aphorisms.

Enjoy!

Blue skies

2008-01-26T01:15:00.000+08:00

Have you ever woken up from an awful dream and realized it's just reality?

I've been working on my thesis.

Late for the cut-off time of the first topic presentation earlier last year, I thought I was left with nothing to do but sign up for the extras for the first batch (because I didn't want to sign up for the second batch which would have their presentation almost a month after), wait, and listen to the other presentations. Then grueling hour after grueling hour, they--the professors from the department--allowed a few of us to present. It went well and I managed to pass a suitable and workable topic that was approved by the whole faculty.

A couple of weeks went by and there wasn't any word from my thesis adviser, the teacher whom I believed gave me my lowest grade since I began. When he called his students to finally meet him for an orientation, I presented my thesis topic yet again. Short of trashing everything, he fixed my topic and gave me something easier to accomplish given our time frame.

Long story shorter (I'm not at the end yet, that's why), I've been passing chapter after chapter till he finally asked for all of the first three chapters. We, and 3 other classmates, met before the holidays and we were expected to work during the holidays and pass the second draft last January 3. Rushing through, I managed to pass it and for 24 days now, I have been waiting for any response for him at all. Last I heard, he was in Cagayan doing some sort of seminar and should be back by Monday. Sigh... Just have to wait and see.

3 and a half weeks have given me a lot to think about. The wait gave me time to think about how I'm supposed to graduate; how I'm supposed to leave my family, friends, everything I'm so used to; how I'm supposed to cope and find a job in another country...

I often find myself lacking sleep and waking up with a mixture of dread, boredom, panic, and lethargy.

To cope with my unoccupied time, I enrolled in Spanish class at Languages Internationale
Classes began this afternoon and I took the blue skies as a sign of the beginning of better things.

Blue Skies written by Irving Berlin in 1926.

I was blue, just as blue as I could be
Ev'ry day was a cloudy day for me
Then good luck came a-knocking at my door
Skies were gray but they're not gray anymore

Blue skies smiling at me
Nothing but blue skies do I see
Bluebirds singing a song
Nothing but bluebirds all day long

Never saw the sun shining so bright
Never saw things going so right
Noticing the days hurrying by
When you're in love, my how they fly

Blue days, all of them gone
Nothing but blue skies from now on
I should care if the wind blows east or west
I should fret if the worst looks like the best

I should mind if they say it can't be true
I should smile, that's exactly what I do

The hitchhiker's answers to whatever

2007-06-20T00:52:00.000+08:00

I'm home.

My, my. It's been a while since my last entry, hasn't it? My apologies.
Well, let's start my mid-year off with a tribute to trogladites, transportation, and the ultimate reason why I am home on a hot Tuesday night.

Some folks seem to think that at my age--which has stayed the same since 1999, I should be allowed to have a boyfriend. As an answer to those poor unfortunate souls who are unhappy with their own relationships--or lack of--and have nothing better to do than to pick on others whom they think are in a more pitiful state than they are (i.e. trogladites) : why, yes, I do have a boyfriend; and yes, I'm very happy and very spoiled in my relationship--I love you, baby! Thank you!; and yes, I probably have a more exciting sex life than they do with their unimaginative hormones.
So what if it took me a while to get into my second relationship? I'm picky. Fortunately, these poor unfortunate souls are few and can be disregarded.

There are also some others who think that at my age, I should be able to go out anytime I want to. My answer to that is: They haven't lived with my mom whose power carries over even in my sister's and her husband's house. When she's there, they live by her rules. Who cares if they're almost 40? They still might make stupid decisions that could ruin not only their lives but subsequently ruin others' lives as well. Since I live under her roof, I live under her rules. Which includes not going out at odd times in the night or going out without her permission.

Don't get me wrong, my mom will allow me to go out often enough--more often than some people I know. But, let me give you an exaggeration of her way of thinking:

1. A person doesn't need to see their friends that often. It's not like they're dying to help you. If they are your friends, they wouldn't let you go out/call you/bother you at this time of night.
2. Don't you know that there are rapists and idiots out there? People whom you think are your friends are just waiting to hand you over to them or worse.
3. You have to wake up early tomorrow.
4. Not now, things are weird here at the house and we might need you here.
5. There's no one to drive you.

All logical if you think on it.

Ok, on to the next. There are also some people who think that I should be able to bring the car out. My answer: Aside from the aforementioned reason, Rolly boy fixed the driveway this past summer by adding a hump at the end of the driveway. Not exactly the easiest thing to push the car over . (Yes, I do push the car out because it's too noisy to start in the garage, but it's been months since I've gone and done that.) Not to mention, our area is way over on the other side of the moon--crater-filled and dark.

Finally, the answer to why I'm home on a hot Tuesday night: In my effort to reach a friend in need, I called a taxi service whose number I found on the internet because our car ran out of gas. Because I live on the other side of the moon, the drivers--yes plural--couldn't find their way to my place even after I called them 3 times and waited for 30 minutes each time. Oh I'm sure they're reliable in the day time, but during night and at our place, well I don't blame them.

So, tomorrow's another day--Wednesday.
Tomorrow, the car will be filled with gas.
Tomorrow, I'll be out to fulfill my promise and to post-celebrate my sister's birthday.

Ah.... Bliss....

convenient.

2006-12-03T21:29:00.000+08:00

What's a normal window shopping day for you?

For me, it's going to a mall (that's conveniently near) and looking at stuff (doesn't necessarily have to be conveniently priced) and sometimes it even means trying stuff on (that's when you regret having those convenient snacks lately).

Ok, kids. What's our word for today? Convenient
"Something favorable to one's comfort, purpose, or needs."
Yes that's right.
"Easy to reach. Accessible."
Good, any more?
"7-11s."
Yep.
"Ministop."
Ok.
"It's like having a gas station with a toilet when you're in the car and you've been hogging all the beer since you're not driving."
Uh, good example.
"It's like not having to tell a lie about how a person dresses or smells 'cause the person you're talking about is dead anyway or maybe just out of the room."
Oh-kaay....
"It's like a guy marrying a lady with a hot daughter and his grandfather marrying his stepdaughter and them having a son together. Then his stepdaughter becomes his grandmother, and his grandson becomes his brother, and his grandfather is his son-in-law, and his wife is his grandfather's mother-in-law, and he's his grandfather's father-in-law!"

mouth open. blink.

As I was saying...
I was at the mall--Ladies Department--trying on a pair of jeans (I needed them like I needed a third eye). In between zipping the pair up and thinking if I still had my cowboy shirt in my closet and if I should start wrapping my gifts, I heard a woman shouting righteous indignation. (Ok, she wasn't shouting, but everyone in the vicinity shut up so her very loud voice was heard way over to the next department).

"I'm just asking for a plastic bag! How cheap you are! I spent over P1000 here and how do you expect me to carry all of it if your plastic bags are like these? I'm returning all of these! I don't want it anymore! There! To teach you a lesson! If you can wait around for a plastic bag, well, I can't! I have things to do! I'm a very busy woman! Department store rules? You should know your rules! Read them! You should treat your customer right!"

NOTE: The girl at the cashier was just a bagger and not the cashier herself. Much of the monologue above was repeated with different stresses and varying tones. All of this was done in the vicinity of the Department Store liason officers and other curious shoppers. Obviously done by a PROFESSIONAL. DO NOT TRY THIS WITHOUT MONEY AND BRAINS TO BACK YOU UP. Practice only when within the safety of your room and in front of a mirror.

The rest of the day, my friend and I joked around: "Do you want a plastic bag?"

Ok, kids. I leave you with this quote:

People seldom do what they believe in. They do what is convenient, then repent.
Bob Dylan

National Stalker

2006-11-15T22:42:00.000+08:00

Earlier this evening, I received a text message from a friend.
So I conducted a little experiment. I wanted to see the different reactions of the people who received the same message.

Forward.
Send to many.

I met someone who knows u, said u were together before. Call ka daw! Landline, 5319001. Sya sasagot. Ikaw ha, u'r hiding something.. Uuuy!

These are the replies:

nicoffeine: what is this some call center or sex hot line?!
baldie: who's this sorry i placed my sim in another phone
GENERAL PUBLIC: are you sure you sent this to the right person?
ulti_addict: i'm bored. you online?
GENERAL PUBLIC2: really? who is it?
koreanang luto: have you been giving my number away again?
fortune hunter: wahahahahaha! who is it? jd fortune?

ring....

baldie: who is it? c'mon! tell me the name. or at least where from.
g: mandaluyong.
baldie: where's that? i don't remember anyone from there...
g: just call!!! go go go!!!

few minutes after...

baldie: this is crazy!
baldie: you're crazy!
starbucks: talaga sino? hu is he? she?

my fave...

starbucks: taena. i called. she was asking how you're doing.

The Message:

Good everning! Mabuhay! Thank for calling the National Center for Mental Health. Our administrative offices are closed. If you know the extension number of the person you wish to call, please dial it now. For emergency calls please dial 283. For operator assistance please dial 0, or stay on the line.

To the radio gods and the avid fans of 107.9

2006-11-14T22:45:00.000+08:00

This was from an email I received.
I give a toast to you. No regrets.
Cheers, mate.

The Rise and Fall of 107.9FM Underground Radio

Message:

A pirate is a radio station that tries to be heard over a relatively large area but operates without benefit of a license from the government. This is the story of the rise and fall of a pirate: 107.9FM Underground Radio, as it came to be called.

It began several months ago when I happened across a review of the Tugicom FM-25 PLL FM stereo broadcast transmitter on Ebay,a low-powered unit meant to be heard over a short range. "Own and operate your own FM stereo broadcast station," the review had said. Wow! I thought, my own radio station! Actually, I had been thinking about doing something like that for some time. Always fascinated by the mystery of radio communications, one of my earliest questions as a kid was, "Dad, how does the music get from where that man is playing it to the dashboard of our car?" (I think he mumbled something about phone lines.) The technical challenge of doing it myself had always been there.

Radio: Elevator Music

In recent years a second reason for putting my own signal on the air has surfaced: Most of the programming now out there on the radio sounds like noise to my ears. Radio has become less important in my life because of that. The compressed and boring music (not to mention the commmercials and stupid trying hard DJ's on most stations) that comes out of my radio has become tiresome. I now only listen to radio while driving, and then only with the radio tuned to a news station. I've "tuned out", preferring to listen to music on CD and mp3 player insted.I began to think there might be others out there who would like to hear something unconventional.

I started hanging around the alt.radio.pirate news group on the Internet, where I found many advocates for FM piracy. Low Power FM (LPFM) they called it. Most FM pirates were similarly motivated by a desire to put something "good" - or at least different - on the radio dial, and saw LPFM as a way to do it. Now and then an altercation would flare between pirate operators using AM or SSB on the shortwave bands and the adherents to LPFM. At the core of these debates was a difference of opinion about who the target audiences should be. The shortwavers wanted to be heard by hobby listeners; the LPFMers wanted to be heard by the general public. I was of the second school: I wanted my signal to be heard by ordinary people.

In all of my musing over the months,I had never considered FM. AM (Ancient Modulation?) always came to mind, with its lower frequency band and simpler concepts.I had visions,I guess, of the early days of FM and the convoluted phase and serrasoid schemes that were necessary to produce high-fidelity modulation in a era before high-speed digital dividers and linear variable reactance diodes made directly-modulated synthesized exciters commonplace. Upon reflection, it began to sink in: Of course, FM is the perfect choice! FM is for people who like music! The challenge was now irresistible.

The Station

So,I puchased the tugicom FM-25,(25watt FM transmitter) and designed and built my own antenna, attached a CD player, fired'er up and jumped in the car to check out the range. That little transmitter sounded just pretty darned good to my ears - at first. But I hardly got to the end of SanJuan before its tiny signal fadded out. I also noticed an irritating buzzing in the audio and some strange noises that seemed to be coming from the CD - they were keeping time with the music. I can do better than this, I thought. From that moment I was hooked. I began an almost month-long struggle to get the signal out beyond the borders of our town and to clean up the FM-25, a struggle that turned into a happy addiction and a 5month life of crime.

Several antenna improvements were also made that first month. The system progressed from a homemade collinear to a giant 40ft. 4 element array folded dipole made of aluminum pipdesigned and made by me and mounted on a 125-foot tower in the back of my house. Range was now almost to the edge of the whole Metro Manila about 6 million souls, and I was having great fun. I played mostly Dance,Rnb and a little bit of alternative Rock music..It was a blast.

But i never got the fm-25 to sound as good as I thought it should,So I bought a new exciter. This time it was Broadcast Wearhouse MPX3000,(30 watt FM Transmitter) which had been featured in an article in an internet website. The MPX3000 was perfect, however. It had a strange 9 dB boost at the extreme bass end of its audio response range, and stereo separation and balance was very good. Also, that "dead quiet" was marred by a high-pitched whistling sound heard faintly in the background. In the next few weeks I made quite a few improvements to it mostly capacitor value changes and the tightening of resistor tolerances. The bass boost problem and the high-pitched whine were traced to problems in the unit's loop filter.

I also added a subtle modulation limiter circuit in the audio path between the mixer and the exciter. The purpose of a modulation limiter is to protect the transmitter from being driven into distortion by a too-loud audio signal, a condition very easy to encounter with high dynamic range CDs. Also, the typical mixer board operator's tendency is to bang the VU meters into the red in an attempt to sound as loud as possible over the air. The limiter allows the operator to indulge this proclivity without over-driving the transmitter.

The result of the improvement effort was highly satisfactory: The MPX3000 checked out at 0.1% audio distortion on a high-quality modulation monitor.Stereo Separation came in at better than 55 dB at 1 kHz, and noise was too low to be measured!

I also jacked up the power again, from 25watts this time to 300 watts,using an amplifier i purchaced from Ebay. The modification was no easy feat. Fortunately, I had access to a spectrum analyzer,and a high power dummy load for testing,to make a long story short, the result was impressive. The second harmonic was some 65 dB down and spurious emission and higher-order harmonics were non-existent. In other words, that amp was clean!

The station was now quite satisfactory from a technical standpoint and the choice to operate in the FM band was definitely the right one for the situation. The signal easily covered most of metro manila and beyond,Coverage was still a little spotty on cheap radios, however, so I began to lay plans for an increase in power - to 1000 watts.But it was not to be. 107.9FM was building to a downfall..

The Bust

As it turned out, there WAS someone in the radio industry who cared, and he cared very much. The owner of the local legally NTC-licensed FM outlet had been monitoring us and had decided to take action. I received a call from them one afternoon. Not knowing I was the perpetrator, the station owner explained the situation and asked if I could help him track down the guy. I almost came clean right then and there when I replied that I already had a VERY good idea of who the guy was... but would rather not identify him. The station owner then said that he had been in talks with the NTC and that they were "cracking down on this pirate station." Trying very hard to control my voice in this unreal situation, I said something to the effect that I would "talk to the guy" and could almost guarantee that he would shut down. Thanking me, he ended the conversation.

And that was how UnderGround Radio died without a whimper. Well, yes, there was a whimper. We went on the air for a short time at exactly 12 AM the following night with a tearful farewell.

A few days later I stopped in at the local station and, still operating in lying mode, told the owner I had "talked to the guy" and had been assured that his operation had ceased. It was at this meeting that I gained a little better appreciation of the owner's point of view. Basically it was this: He operates by the rules, pays his dues - thousands and thousands of pesos,it turns out, to something called a Regulation Fund, and to ASCAP (this money goes to local recording artists) - and of course, he's a businessman and makes his living from his radio station. He saw the pirate as taking food from his mouth. I quizzed him a little about whether the pirate had been interfering with his signal and, more importantly, on whether he considered the pirate to be a serious competitor given the fact that the program format was so drastically different. No, the pirate was not interfering, and no, he said with a bit of a chuckle, the pirate's format made absolutely no difference in his view. He then made it perfectly clear that he would be in contact with the NTC if the pirate's operation continued. We shook hands and I left, feeling like a jerk and a fraud..

A day or so later a Man. (I will not mention his name) and he was calling from the National telecomunications commision. He asked if I knew why he was calling. I replied that, yes, I did. He asked if I knew who the pirate was up there? Yes, I did, but would rather not say. Did I help construct the station? "Well.. yes," I said. Then.. "Aw hell, I may as well come clean. I'm the pirate.."

There followed a long, friendly conversation in which he tried to get as much information about our station as he could: What was the power? Where did I get the transmitter? Details of the transmitter' s construction? Had I checked it on a spectrum analyzer?(yes) What sort of antenna? Were we making any attempt to conceal the antenna? (No.) What hours were we operating? (247) How long had we been on?(5months) Would I PROMISE not to operate anymore? (Yes.) Would I consider destroying the equipment? (No.) Would I sell the equipment to some other pirate? (No.) Who was that guy on there? (Matt Montoya) Did I know the station had been picked up 100 kilomiters away? (No), I thought it highly unlikely.)

I asked him a few also: Does he enjoy tracking down pirates? How many pirates does he track down a year? (i guess none coz im the first and only one in metro manila), We finished the conversation with him saying that he'd be sending an official warning letter. I said I'd frame it and put it on the wall.

I'd spilled my guts to the Heat. What a relief!

And, true to our word, 107.9FM Underground Radio has been silent ever since. Cold turkey..

But, no regrets.

alcohol

2006-11-12T20:52:00.000+08:00

I ran out of my alcohol stash.
Dang. Gotta get some more.
No, I'm not a drunk. I thoroughly believe in moderation. Believe me, hugging a toilet bowl has made me learn the truth in that. Big time.

Cheers!

BRAD PAISLEY LYRICS

"Alcohol"

I can make anybody pretty
I can make you believe any lie
I can make you pick a fight
With somebody twice your size

I been known to cause a few break ups
I been known to cause a few births
I can make you new friends
Or get you fired from Work

[1st Chorus]
And since the day I left Milwaukee
Lynchburg and Bordeaux France
Been making the bars lots of big money
And helping white people dance
I got you in trouble in high school
But college, now that was a ball
You had some of the best times
You'll never remember with me
Alcohol
Alcohol

I got blamed at your wedding reception
For your best man's embarrassing speech
And also for those
Naked pictures of you at the beach

I've influenced kings and world leaders
I helped Hemmingway write like he did
And I'll bet you a drink or two that I can make you
Put that lampshade on your head

[2nd Chorus]
'Cause since the day I left Milwaukee
Lynchburg and Bordeaux France
Been making a fool out of folks just like you
And helping white people dance
I'm medicine and I am poison
I can help you up or make you fall
You had some of the best times
You'll never remember with me
Alcohol
Alcohol

[Repeat 1st Chorus]

dvd-9's get a 10!

2006-11-02T19:45:00.000+08:00

I have just discovered DVD-9s.

Ok, so I'm lagging behind a bit, but I'll catch up pretty quick. Oh ho, wait, what are DVD-9s?

1.	DVD-9
	A brand of DVDs famous for providing high quality DVDs yet at the same time are pirated copies. Can be found for $10-15 each per DVD (compared to say, $30 for a normal DVD) or much less ($4-5) if you shop in a place inhabitated mostly by Asians. Can be distinguished from other cheap copies by the elegance of its packaging and the phrase "DVD-9" printed on the bottom right hand corner of the cover (if DVD-9 is on a sticker, it ain't real but check in the store's DVD player if you can to make sure). yo man, just copped some DVD-9s, they're DA BOMB! by jayb Anyghetto, USA Aug 3, 2005

Thank you, Urban Dictionary

It started when I went to Manila's ultimate shopping area/flea market/bargain haven: DIVISORIA

My friend and I made a bee line for the stalls that sold DVDs in the 168 Mall. Like hello? What's a Divi trip without buying 1 or 2 DVDs, royt?

Well, long story short, I found out about DVDs with 8 movies in 1! I didn't buy any just yet 'cause I was overwhelmed and didn't really have the time to look through the titles.

But I did buy some when I went out with my friend, Mr. Blas, to Makati Cinema Square. I musta bought like what, 6?! Action flicks, Horror flicks, the Batman movies, the Lord of the Rings trilogy, Jurassic Park trilogy--sure beats having to find space for all my DVDs.

So yes, DVD-9s get a rating of 10. Beri goot.

It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas

2006-10-10T18:08:00.000+08:00

I was just working on my paper for school when I noticed that I was singing to a Christmas carol. Something my mom passed on to the whole family: our love for Christmas.

The Philippines has one of the loooongest Christmas celebrations. It starts as soon as you hit the "ber" months. You know, SeptemBER, OctoBER, NovemBER, and DecemBER. Malls are already dropping hints by playing Christmas carols in between the usual "Will the parents of a lost boy wearing a red shirt and maong shorts and white rubber shoes please come to the Customer Service area" and BSB or N'Sync replays.

Our family starts with our own tradition of putting the tree up. Yes, the plastic tree. Not the one you buy off the lot full of wonderful smelling pine. Hey, they last longer and we won't have to suffer the sight of dying trees that weren't picked during the season.

You'll never guess what color scheme our Christmas tree's going to be this year.

Green and Pink

Yes, yes. I know I have an aversion to the color pink; but I worked it in such a way that I figured the scheme's pink will be more of a fuchsia.

Ok, so some of you might think, "Hello? It's not even Halloween yet." Well, my family isn't big on celebrating Halloween. And our daily lives are scary enough. *snicker snicker*

We also have a tradition of having the tree up before my sister's birthday, which falls on the 28th of October. So even if my sister's already out of the house, we're still sticking to it.

Ok. Back to my school work. Thank goodness it isn't cramping my holiday spirit.

Why?

2006-09-21T01:55:00.000+08:00

May 19, 1997; June 6, 1997; May 9, 1999; mid-2006

Contrary to popular belief, life can actually be so much like a daytime soap opera, or a prime time telenovela, or even a rerun of a koreanovela.

That's why we keep coming back for more...

I was minding my own business
He was pacing 'round the room
I was feeling kind of restless
He was under a cloud of gloom

I stood to get myself a drink
When he said, "We need to talk."
I walked past without a blink
He said, "Gawd, you have a heart of rock."

So then I stopped right in my tracks
He said, "Well that got your attention,
And I guess talking to your back
Does lessen all this tension."

I turned around slowly
Saw his head was hung low
He whispered, "I know you're still angry,
So lemme tell you all I know."

Curious, I sat down on the couch
And waited for him to start
His expression--for which i vouch--
Looked like he was falling apart.

"We're young," he said, "and see, I'm not ready..."
Just then I felt the pain
There go my dreams of going steady
Outside it started to rain.

Just then the lights start flickering
Then darkness was with me
Friend with a flashlight saw me crying
Went to my side in a hurry

"What happened? Why are you crying?"
I heard, so I sniffed discreetly,
Then I bashfully looked up and said,
"Uh, I was...
...watching TV."

the internet is for...: post-Valentine edition.

2006-02-15T02:06:00.000+08:00

What is the Internet for you?

To a lot of people out there on the world wide web, the Internet is a treasure trove, a macrocosm, the cosmos, the universe; an infinite source of knowledge which opens many venues of opportunities for a job, a life, love...

Here, I will take the opportunity to review a book I'd just finished reading.
It's called jemima j: a novel about ugly ducklings and swans by the author Jane Green.
It's an easy read at 373 pages. Your Cinderella story revamped; and since you know I'm an avid Cinderella fan, you can pretty much tell why I bought the book. I couldn't put the book down once I'd started it.

Jemima Jones--[I find the name very British. (Then again, the story is set in that austere country)]--is overweight. She finds herself tongue-tied and blushing every time she's in the company of her charming and sexy colleague, Ben. She fancies him but he only sees her as a friend. Go figure. Then she meets Brad--this time how very American. Guess where she meets this hunk-of-burning-love? Over the internet. He thinks however that she's this uber sexy, gym-obssessed girl. Why?

p.46
I type twenty-seven, but Geraldine stops me just as I'm about to press RETURN, to send the words to him.
"Don't say twenty-senven," she urges. "You don't have to tell the truth on this..."
So I do, realizing she's absolutely right. I don't have to tell the truth on the Internet. About anything.

She goes on to reinvent herself into JJ, the bone-thin model she portrays herself to be in her emails and finally in real life. Ultimately finding out who she really is.
Read the book.

Now back to the topic: What is the Internet for?

Med Student: sex.
frisbee addict: whores.
wuchi: for communication.
Texan bride: chat.
Joel: it's to globally connect people through computers with communication and media.
angel: searches.
wuchi: tama ba? la akong alam dyan.
Med Student: ah, let me change my answer. the internet is for communicating our needs and interests through.. ahem.
G: twoink.
Med Student: hehehehehe
frisbee addict: your answer?
G: information.
frisbee addict: riiiight. what's new in the webcamming world?
G: naaaaatheeeeeng.
frisbee addict: tsk. baduy.
PaUL: what is the internet for?... glady. hehehehe
G [to Med Student]: tama na porn.
Med Student: nung tama na! m d god or porn! pa view pangit.
Trekkie monster from Avenue Q: The Internet is for Porn.

Whatever you want the Internet to be for, I hope you find fulfillment.

Ok... Back to trivia on mIRC.

one-liners

2005-08-09T23:04:00.000+08:00

101 of the World's Funniest One Liners

1. 99% of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
2. Borrow money from a pessimist -- they don't expect it back.
3. Time is what keeps things from happening all at once.
4. Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.
5. I didn't fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian.
6. Never answer an anonymous letter.
7. It's lonely at the top; but you do eat better.
8. I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it.
9. Always go to other people's funerals, or they won't go to yours.
10. Few women admit their age; few men act it.
11. If we aren't supposed to eat animals, why are they made with meat?
12. No one is listening until you make a mistake.
13. Give me ambiguity or give me something else.
14. We have enough youth. How about a fountain of "Smart"?
15. He who laughs last thinks slowest.
16. Campers: Nature's way of feeding mosquitoes.
17. Always remember that you are unique; just like everyone else.
18. Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.
19. There are three kinds of people: Those who can count and those who can't.
20. Why is "abbreviation" such a long word?

21. Nuke the Whales.

22. I started out with nothing and I still have most of it.
23. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
24. Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.
25. A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
26. As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in public schools.
27. Laugh alone and the world thinks you're an idiot.
28. Sometimes I wake up grumpy; other times I let her sleep.
29. The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the ability to reach it.
30. You can't have everything; where would you put it?
31. I took an IQ test and the results were negative.
32. Okay, who stopped the payment on my reality check?
33. We are born naked, wet and hungry. Then things get worse.
34. Be nice to your kids. They'll choose your nursing home.
35. DNA: National Dyslexic Association.
36. If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.
37. I wonder how much deeper the ocean would be without sponges.
38. Eat right. Stay fit. Die anyway.
39. DARE to keep cops off donuts.
40. Nothing is fool proof to a sufficiently talented fool.
41. On the other hand, you have different fingers.
42. Dyslexics of the world, untie!
43. God made mankind. Sin made him evil.
44. I don't find it hard to meet expenses. They're everywhere.
45. I just let my mind wander, and it didn't come back.
46. Don't steal. The government hates competition.
47. Humpty Dumpty was pushed.
48. National Atheist's Day April 1st.
49. All generalizations are false.
50. The more people I meet, the more I like my dog.
51. Work is for people who don't know how to fish.
52. If you don't like the news, go out and make some.
53. For every action there is an equal and opposite criticism.
54. IRS: We've got what it takes to take what you have got.
55. I'm out of bed and dressed. What more do you want?
56. I used to think I was indecisive, but now I'm not too sure.
57. I can handle pain until it hurts.
58. No matter where you go, you're there.
59. If everything is coming your way, then you're in the wrong lane.
60. It's been Monday all week.
61. Gravity always gets me down.
62. This statement is false.
63. Eschew obfuscation.
64. They told me I was gullible...and I believed them.
65. It's bad luck to be superstitious.
66. According to my best recollection, I don't remember.
67. The word "gullible" isn't in the dictionary.
68. Honk if you like peace and quiet.
69. The Big Bang Theory: God Spoke and BANG! it happened.
70. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
71. Despite the cost of living, have you noticed how it remains so popular?
72. Save the whales. Collect the whole set.
73. A day without sunshine is like, night.
74. The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
75. Corduroy pillows: They're making headlines!
76. Gravity- It's not just a good idea, it's the LAW!
77. Life is too complicated in the morning.
78. We are all part of the ultimate statistic--ten out of ten die.
79. Nobody's perfect. I'm a Nobody.
80. Ask me about my vow of silence.
81. The hardness of butter is directly proportional to the softness of the bread.
82. The last thing on earth you want to do will be the last thing you do.
83. Diplomacy is the art of letting someone else get your way.
84. If ignorance is bliss, then tourists are in a constant state of euphoria.
85. If at first you don't succeed, don't try skydiving.
86. If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
87. Stop repeat offenders. Don't re-elect them!
88. I intend to live forever. So far so good.
89. Who is "General Failure" and why is he reading my hard disk?
90. What happens if you get scared half to death twice?
91. I used to have an open mind but my brains kept falling out.
92. Energizer Bunny arrested; charged with battery.
93. I didn't use to finish sentences, but now I
94. I've had amnesia as long as I can remember.
95. Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks.
96. Vacation begins when Dad says, "I know a short cut."
97. Evolution: True science fiction.
98. What's another word for Thesaurus?
99. Everywhere is walking distance if you have the time.
100. A flashlight is a case for holding dead batteries.
101. I went to the fights, and a hockey game broke out.

for me, really

2005-06-10T21:01:00.000+08:00

saw u...
that cute roosterette...
i smiled...
it made me remember everything...
and then i smiled even more...
after reminiscing, i stopped smiling...
i realized it has an "after effect"...
thinking of u makes me sad afterwards...
'coz u made me forget all d' problems i'm facing...
all d' hardships i'm encountering at d' moment...
all d' adversities in my life ryt now...
whenever someone helps me in any possible way...
i give back...
i wanna make that person happier...
just as that person did to me and more...
that's d' part where i smile...
this is d' sad part...
i can't give it back 2 u...
i mean, i want to but...
u know?...
i can't accept d' fact that no matter how i try or what i do...
u can't be mine...
now this is where i stop smiling... :-(

Just The Average

2005-06-10T19:48:00.000+08:00

Tall guy: Did you know that for some women, after she has her period, she could still be fertile?

He's Just Not That Into You blares, pommels, hammers, root canals at the back of her mind. Shoulda known better.

--FYI,IN,IB,IH et al---

The measure of a man is what he does with power.
Pittacus

Average Body Dimensions
http://www.sexualrecords.com/WSRaverages.html

Height
Male: 5'9" (1.77 meters)
Female: 5'3.5" (1.65 meters)
Weight
Male: 172 lbs.
Female: 143 lbs.
Chest
Male: 37-39" (98-102 cm.)
Female: 35.9" (91.2 cm.)*
Waist
Male: 31-34" (80-87 cm.)
Female: 29" (72 cm.)
Thigh
Male: 21" (54 cm.)
Female: 22-24" (56-61 cm.)
Hips
Male: 36" (92 cm.)
Female: 39" (100 cm.)

*see Average Bust Size

Average Penis Size: Almost 88% of all men fall between 5-7 inches when erect, and when relaxed the majority (again, 90%) fall within 3 to 5 inches.

Average Testicle Size: 2 inches long, 0.8 inch in breath, and 1.2 inches in diameter (5 x 2 x 3 cm).
Average Vagina Size: 3 inches along the posterior wall with a diameter of 0.8 inches, though in stimulated phase it balloons to 3.75-4.1 in long by 2.3-2.5 inches in diameter.
Average Clitoris Length: 1 inch, though the part that shows, called the clitoral glans, is 0.20 inches long.
Average Vaginal Acidity: 4.0 to 5.0 on the pH scale--fairly acidic.
Average Hymen Thickness: 0.05-0.10 inches (0.125-0.25 cm.).
Average Ovary Size: 1.5 inches long by 0.75 inches in breadth by 1 inch thick (3.75 x 2 x 2.5 cm.).

Average Bust Size: The average bust line for American women is 35.9 inches (91.2 cm). The typical bra size is 34B, with the proportions of women's cup sizes breaks down to the following: A-15%, B-44%, C-28%, D-10%, while the remaining 3% are AA, AAA, DD and beyond.

Average Nipple Size: (male)0.22 inches (5.5 mm).
Average Nipple Size: (female)0.27 inches (6.79 mm).
Average Areola Size: (female)1.4 inches (35.62 mm).
Average Erection Angle: 15 degrees above horizontal.
Average Time to Achieve Erection: 3-8 seconds.

Average Erection Duration: The following is a partial reprint from Sexual Behavior in the Human Male (W. B. Saunders, 1948) by Kinsey et. al.

Age Group and Median Duration of Erection in Minutes
Adol.-15: 12.00, 16-20: 42.88, 21-25: 54.33, 26-30: 53.09, 31-35: 47.24, 36-40: 40.62, 41-45: 31.07, 46-50: 29.02, 51-55: 21.62, 56-60: 26.67, 61-65: 19.50, 66-70: 7.00, 71+ : 0.00

Duration peaks at the 21-25 age group. After that, it's downhill.

Average Ejaculatory Speed: 28 miles per hour (45 km/hr). Once it enters the vagina, the sperm takes 5 minutes to cross the 6 inches of territory to the cervix (.0011 mph).

Average Ejaculatory Volume: 4 cc. or about one teaspoon, with enormous variation between individuals and times.

Average Ejaculate Calorific Content: Between 2 to 5 calories or so.

Average Sperm Length: 4 microns.

Average Sperm Concentration: 20 million sperm per milliliter.

Average Seminal Alkalinity: 7.0 to 8.0 on the pH scale.

Average Seminal Viscosity: 0.00935 Pa. s (water, by comparison, has a viscosity of 0.001 Pa. s).

Average Durability of Sperm: Sperm typically survive 48 hours within the female body.

Average Number of Sperm: 300-500 million sperm are released every ejaculation, and 1.2 trillion sperm are produced during a man's lifetime.

Average Ovum Size: 1/175th of an inch (0.14 mm.), slightly smaller than the period ending this sentence. Interestingly, this is the largest cell in the human body.

Average Duration of Ovum Fertility: The female egg will remain fertile for about 24 to 48 hours.

Average Number of Ova: 400,000. Unlike men, who continually replenish his supply of sperm, women have a set amount of ova that's determine at birth. Only 400 are ever released during a woman's lifetime, and their quality deteriorates over time. Plan on conceiving? Do it before 40.

Average Age of Menarche (Onset of Menstruation): 12.5 years. Interestingly, a study in 1962 showed that this age has decreased by four months every decade since 1830.

Average Menstrual Flow: Approximately 50 to 175 cc., or one-quarter to one-half a cup. Erk.

Average Menstrual Cycle Duration: 28 days.

Average Period Duration: 5 days.

Average Age of Menopause: 48-49 years.

Average Coitus Calorie Expenditure: 100 calories, at a rate of 6 per minute.

Average Frequency of Coitus: 2.5 times weekly.

Average Time to Orgasm (male): Kinsey found that 75% of all males reach orgasm within 2 minutes of penetration, and felt that it was normal, though he does note that it "may be most unsatisfactory to a wife who is inhibited or natively low in response." Way to state the obvious, doc.

Average Duration of Orgasm (male): 3-5 seconds.

Average Time to Orgasm (female): Females in Kinsey's studies averaged a little less than 4 minutes to reach orgasm during masturbation, though for coitus it took anywhere from 10 to 20 minutes.

Average Duration of Orgasm (female): 5-8 seconds. Orgasmic contractions in both sexes occur at intervals of 0.8 seconds.

He's Just Not That Into You vs. 10 Meter Restraining Order

2005-05-06T01:58:00.000+08:00

Some time March, I came across the book, He's Just Not That Into You: The No-Excuses Truth to Understanding Guys. (Actually, my sister bought the book and asked me to read it since she was still trying to finish her own thick book.)

There were so many things in that 210 page book that I, myself, could have told anyone--and I do mean ANYONE! Girl or guy! I mean, the titles of every chapter written in the book are logical by themselves:

1. He's Just Not That Into You If He's Not Asking You Out.

Yes. You talk non-stop on the phone till the wee hours in the morning, you text each other funny and sweet messages, and you always talk about when you do get together--for the past 2 months? 3 weeks? 6 days?

Like that guy who always claimed that he was busy with work and keeps telling you in that sweet voice, "Kasi it's your fault, you didn't make it the last time---you're the one always cancelling on me." Then when you do start planning, he's always busy.

2. He's Just Not That Into You If He's Not Calling You.

Ok. You had a great time on YM that one night. Then there was this time when he was caling you non-stop. There even that bombing that happened, and as soon as he got home from the hospital, you were the first person he called. Then when his land line was cut, all you guys did was text. Then 2 weeks pass and he still hasn't paid his line--to which you don't know the number (as if naman you'll call him up). Then another week Then another week.

"I'll pay it siguro next week. Tinatamad pa ako. Hehehe. When I get the line back, sige I'll call you." Get the picture? You're just not interesting enough anymore...

3. He's Just Not That Into You If He's Not Dating You.

You always see each other! You're always having a good time when you're out. So what if you're always in a group of 3 or 4 or 10 or 15... Hmm... You never seem to be alone together.

Sad thing is his text messages read as: "Wna hang wid me and my frends frm college? Mis u na eh" or "Hir at d mall. Muvi tau ni Girlie n Boyet". Dates are supposed to be one on one, where you can both get to know each other better.

4. He's Just Not That Into You If He's Not Having Sex With You.

Here's one guy, he really wants to boink someone. Meets up with a friend's friend. He's all excited. Even asks you for directions. Then he gets to the place, dressed in a "trying-not-to-look-cool-but-hopefully-I-am" way, waits for the date who eventually turns out to be in another coffee shop three blocks down. He walks all the way to the coffee shop and looks for the "girl in pink" when...

GODZILLA comes in and blocks the view of..... wait, Godzilla's in pink. Look to the left... No one in pink there... Look to the right... No one in pink--wait, nahhh... Meeting with a girl... A girl who sounded so cute on the phone. Sounded so worldly... So boinkable... So... So... "Oh hello again, limp noodle."

5. He's Just Not That Into You If He's Having Sex With Someone Else.

"I was drunk" or "I thought we were in an open relationship" just doesn't cut the cake. Cheating is cheating is cheating is CHEATING. And it's not your fault if you were the one cheated on.

6. He's Just Not That Into You If He Only Wants To See You When He's Drunk.

Remember:
1 beer or alcoholic drink of preference (sober) = "You have got to be kidding."
5 beers or alcoholic drinks of preference (had a few) = "Not so bad to talk to."
10 beers or alcoholic drinks of preference (few more) = "I think I'd like to kiss you."
15 beers or alcoholic drinks of preference (ok, more toasts) = "Let's make out."
20 beers or alcoholic drinks of preference (for the road) = Boinky. Boinky. Boinky.

7. He's Just Not That Into You If He Doesn't Want to Marry You.

You've been out officially as a couple for 8 years. Sure you don't look as hot as you did then, but hey you can still turn heads. His parents know your parents and they've been mahjong partners since you were still running around the house being chased by your yaya.

"I'm still planning on taking my masters degree, then my doctorate, then my European tour..." That should get you saying, "Next!!!"

8. He's Just Not That Into You If He's Breaking Up With You.

Something must be terribly wrong with you if you still think he wants you.

9. He's Just Not That Into You If He's Disappeared On You.

"He's asleep eh."
"He's at the office."
"Wala. Natutulog. Kumakain."
"Try the upstairs phone."
"He just got home and is so sleepy."
"He---"

I can take the hint.

Click.

10. He's Just Not That Into You If He's Married ( and Other Insane Variations of Being Unavailable)

This is not An Affair to Remember and he's no Cary Grant who'll leave everything to be with you; but you might as well be a Deborah Kerr and get yourself crippled trying to chase him.

11. He's Just Not That Into You If He's a Selfish Jerk, a Bully, or a Really Big Freak.

If you end up having to make excuses for the person all the time, then there's something totally wrong with that person. No "but's". Just stop it.

vs. The 10 Meter Restraining Order

You're walking in the mall, minding your own business, thinking you look cute in your outfit. You're hoping you can catch the attention of a cute guy you saw, but you don't necessarily need to `cause you're feeling gooooood about yourself.

You head to the escalator.

"Excuse me. Hi. I just noticed you. Can I introduce myself?"

Uhm. Ok. You look at the source of the voice.

Erk. Ok. Kinda old. Not grandfather old, but old enough to be your dad. Being nice, you kindly try to ease your way by saying you're busy. But he's pushy and follows you like you hold the key to the genius loci of Shangri-La (the fantastical utopia, ok not the hotel). He weasels your number (thank goodness it's just number with the option to reject or not reply) from you somehow under the pretense of finding you a position in his well-known multinational corporation.

Next thing you know, you get good mornings and eat ur lunch or eat ur dinner or Im at a meeting with people from our thailand branch. Puro sila girls. 10pm tipsy calls: "Umiinom ako. Pigilan mo ko" or replies to your resigned Why-are-you-calling-me questions with "Kasi mahal kita". Sigh. Gag me.

End of book review. I'll have a tall, coffee frap. Hazelnet syrup.

Oh and a restraining order, please. Thanks.

Got to Get Away

2005-05-03T22:19:00.000+08:00

nothing like a cup of coffee
in the morning light
nothing like a cool breeze
to start your day right

but then you walk in the room
and blame me for something
the holocaust, the phone calls, the weather last night
hope for a great day drowns
as we start to fight

i was lost in the vastness
of my young carefree days
happily met you with all our innocent plays
i don't know when you decisions
began to hold sway
was just too late for anyone to know one day
that you just always had to have things your way

i've got to get away
i need to run away
someone tell me
why can't i get away
from it all

friends tell me to leave
i need to live a better life
stop your neighbor's dog from
adding to my strife
i'm sure you'll find the perfect person
just right for you
someone who will be brave enough to take that dive
why did i ever think you'd make a great wife?

i've got to get away
i need to run away
someone tell me
why can't i get away
from it all

i've got to get away
i need to run away
someone save me
to get away
from it all

bunny wabbits galore

2005-03-12T00:59:00.000+08:00

Everyone else has had more sex than me...

Everyone else has had more sex than me.
Everyone else has had more sex than me.
Everyone else has had more sex than me.
Does anyone else get that feeling?
Teenagers naked,
Couple in threes
Grandparents swing from the ceiling.
Everyone else has had more sex than me.
Everyone else has had more sex than me.
Corporate chambers and office amore.
Shenanigans outdoor and in.
Resist and then later your find out there's more
Regret in not doing the sin.
Our lives have to die
Of that there's no help
My favourite way to end them
Is the orb-weaver spider's whose pedipalp
Enters the female pudendum.
Then dies on the spot
His corpse there still stuck,
Left for his rivals to curse at.
He would rather die than not get to f^ck
Personally I reckon it's worth it.
Everyone else has had more sex than me.
Does anyone else get that feeling?
Everyone else has had more sex than me.
Does everybody else get that feeling?
...
Does everyone think...

http://www.albinoblacksheep.com/flash/bunny.php

cute flash animation... something about them bunny wabbits...

like rivermaya said,

"rodeo uh oh oh oh, like the buffaloes do it by the wishing well, 'cause they haven't got money for a cheap motel. rodeo uh oh oh oh, what sweeter thing could happen to a boy an' girl? we gotta do it like mechanical rabbits from hell, yeah..."

we used to have a lot of bunny wabbits as pets... but, like the dogs we usually have, my mom avoided getting both male and female. not that our bunnies ever turned androgynous, but i'm sure they weren't as happy as they could've been. which, i assume lead to their untimely deaths...

our last rabbit was named Sugar. 'cause it was white. i forget how Sugar died (but something about rats keep nagging me at the back of my mind). among the things i recall about Sugar was that he kept on slipping on the tiles--not at all like Thumper, from the movie Bambi, whenever he'd slide on the ice--whenever i brought him in the house. Sugar also had an abnormally gruesome lower tooth that grew like a tusk above his lip. intewesting weally.

now the only bunnies in our household are of the stuffed variety: Velveteen, Easter, and Killer Bunny--he's a puppet, beware of those unguarded moments when he could be humping on your neck or leg.

in fact, Killer Bunny reminds me a lot of the bunnies in the flash animation. well maybe not every bunny. maybe #34 or #67. certainly not the pianist--poor bunny wunny.

hmm.. come to think of it, i also know a couple of people who can relate with bunny #1...

anyway, watch the flash. it's weally weally cute. gotta love those rascalyl wabbits...

The Reason For Not Going To The Ball

2005-03-04T00:35:00.002+08:00

to my friends who have been looking for this story and to those who might want to consider looking at the other side of every story...

(A Letter to Cinderella from Her Stepmother)
by Tanith Lee

To the Princess, Wife of the Prince
Madam:

The girl will have brought you this, the one you trust. Before you tear it into pieces, remember, never before has she done you a disservice. Rather she has helped you. And, I must tell you now, she has been a friend also to me. This is not to make you hate her. It is to make you pause for a moment. To ponder that, if I have sent her to you, and she has aided you, can I have tried to aid you? Please, therefore, read a little further. Perhaps, say to yourself, you will read until I am cruel or insult you, or ask you for something. That is fair, I think. Of course, you suppose, as how should you not, that I have given you only evil. Your world is colored now by trouble, which seemed to begin, I would imagine, with me. But, beautiful Princess, let me have a little time. I promise, I will at least invite your thoughts. And if you read here a word of mine against you--throw this letter in your fire.

Where to begin then, conscious you may lose patience. Shall I provoke your pity? No, for how could you pity me, the wicked step-mother who thrust you from your adoring Father, raised her two ugly daughters over you, exiled you to the dungeon of the kitchens to sweep up the dirt. And finally, worse--withheld you from the famous ball. But then, you went to the ball, despite my efforts. Consider that. Consider what that glorious night has brought you, and read on.

When I was thirteen, my father, a gambler, sold me to a man who offered to pay all the debts. I was very beautiful--so I can speak of she I was, for she was another and not I. The rich man wed me in a modest clandestine service, and then, for a month, he set about me. You know of rape. Naturally you do. I knew nothing. I was terrified. And before I had even grasped what he had done to me, I was with child. When I grew big he was encouraged. He thought I carried a son. But no, it was two daughters. Four days it took me, it took them, to free ourselves from each other. I almost died, and so did they. Probably from this cause they were so ugly. Or else, it was from their father, a hideous man like a gigantic goblin. But they did not have his nature. No, they were in temperament like my own mother. Sweet and gentle, full of laughter. And loving.

Well, you already think me a criminal. Why dissemble? I poisoned the goblin wretch in my twenty-seventh year. He had begun to beat me by then, as he beat his servants. When I could not hide them, he beat his--my--daughters. There was a clever groom. He knew how to procure certain draughts. It looked like a disease of incontinence, and indeed, my husband had given his favors everywhere; no one was surprised, not even he, though he railed against women for a month, before he died.

His estate passed to a brother and I was left with very little. I lived on sufferance in the house of a relation, and my daughters with me. This terrible woman, my aunt, would say to me, in the hearing of my children, "Even though you are poor as mice, and they foul as imps, some man will take you all on, if you act properly."

And to this end she conveyed me about and welcomed suitors. She told me frankly she would expect a gift when I remarried.

Then came you father.

He seemed, of course, like a dream-being, so handsome, so wealthy, so softly spoken and gracious. I was amazed, but even so, now I had the space, I put myself to learning his true nature. I had suffered before, you see, and my daughters had suffered. I did not want them again trapped in the house of a man who would knock them down and spit upon them, calling them pigs and monsters. Your father was, in fact, only courteous to the girls. He even brought them little presents, when he came to call on me--you know his excellent manners. A red rose for me, wound with a tiny golden bracelet. And for them--a sash of scarlet silk and a sash of yellow silk. As if they were pretty, and would soon be popular. I thought myself very mean of spirit to set my faithful groom to learn things of you charming father. But still, I did it.

And so, dear Princess, I learned. And what I learned made me grim but not uneasy. For I was quite selfish and perhaps still am. Me he could do no harm I would notice, and my children would be treated with kindness. Even so, I was loath to marry him--he had by now asked me--until the evening when I saw you.

It was, in its way, strange, for I beheld you by accident, going by in his carriage, just in the fashion my first husband had seen me in the carriage of my gambler father. There was only a moment, you pale and perfect face, the glimpse of your raven hair, and then you were gone like a spring flower.

Possibly you have never seen--how would you--that you and I resembled one another. Why that should be I have no notion, and probably now the resemblance is less, or is no more. But you, Princess, were like the girl I had been. And, being selfish, perhaps that is the only explanation for what I did next. Because you were like the child I might have borne. Because I knew--and, to my shame before had never troubled with it--what would become of you.

I wed your father, and I recall how first I met you. You were twelve years old, and came out to greet me hand in hand with him. You leaned on him, in utter trust and love, and his pride in you was evident. At me you looked not shyly, for you are not shy, but carefully, polite and reticent, yet not cold. You were ready, my dear, I saw, to be my friend, if I should prove worthy.

But you, too honorable to speak ill of me, you pined for him. You pined for your loving father who, if he had had one clear thought, would have rescued you, bathed you, dressed you in silk--and raped you over and over.

You thought I was a witch, and my daughters, who sobbed for you every night--I had no need to lie to them--were creatures of the Pit--your tormentors. Obviously, being so ugly, they had nothing to fear. I could let them walk about the upper house in the finest raiment. And I could let them, when they were eighteen and you sixteen, go to a ball.

If you have read so far, and I pray you have, and not thrown my letter in your winter fire, you will now perhaps await, scornfully, bitterly, my excuse for keeping you from that ball of state where, it was said, the roving eye of the glamorous prince might light on any girl, so ostentatiously egalitarian is your kingdom.

To be plain, at first I thought that here might be the answer. I had mused on plans to get you from your father's hands, but there was no one I might rely on, or so it seemed to me, who might assist you. But now, here was this. For you were yet so beautiful, and I could allow you to become more beautiful, if away from the sight of your father. And I had heard of this prince, I had once met him, and he was young and straight, handsome, a warrior and a scholar, a paragon. How could he fail to notice you? How could you fail to respond to him? And so you would escape that dire house where you had been made a slattern rather than an unpaid and incestuous whore.

Yet I had to meddle, had to be certain.

And so I turned again to my clever groom.

Yes, in reply to your question, perhaps your accusation, I paid him with my body. That grimy, cranky little man, always to the windward of the law. And do you know, my Princess, this villain was gentle. He had no imagination as a lover, but also he wished to play no games. He took his pleasure politely, and after it said that he had been proud to have access to my flesh. But also he confessed he loved truly a woman of the slums. I had seen her. She is ten years his senior, with fallen breasts, but when she beholds him, he face lights like the face of a girl. He said he would marry her if ever he had money enough. He had never asked me for a single coin, and refused the little I could offer him.

He, then, made investigation of the paragon, and soon enought I was brought word. The prince was another of a kind. Well, do I need to tell you now? You have, so the servant girl has whispered to me, the marks of his whip engraved upon your back, and where they cut the ring from your finger, after he had broken the bone, they is now another ring of white.

Could I have warned you of it? Only as I had tried to do in the matter of your father.

Instead, I kept you close. I locked you in. You were a slut in the kitchen. How could you go to the ball of the prince who was a beast?

You found a way. I had mislaid, thinking of your loveliness and your vulnerability, that you were intelligent, and like me, devious after your own fashion.

You wrote to your godmother, that icy ambitious woman, and when she consented to interview you, you found a means to reach her. She sa at once, with her gimlet gaze, your potential under my disguise. So then she had you washed and garnished, and put on you a gown made in a single day by those seamstresses who work until they go blind. It was a sorcerous gown, pure white, and threaded with silver. How many lost the last of their eyesight over it? It was meant to dazzle only one.

She took you to the ball in her own carriage. She introduced you as a relative from a far country. Did she say that, when you were settled, she expected a gift? Perhaps she was more subtle. And anyway, you were grateful, were you not, for he saw you, the beauteous royal man, and he danced with you. Did his warm possessive hands remind you of the loving touches of your father? And when you kissed, hidden in the vines upon the balcony, were his lips a little parted?

She was very wise, your godmother, whisking you away so decorously on the stroke of midnight. It is said you left him a token, a small glass brooch shaped like a dancing slipper. I imagine that was also her idea. The shoe of a woman is the symbol of her sexual part. That into which one may slip and be a perfect fit.

The rest is well known about the kingdom. That he sought you, claimed you. That he wedded you.

And after that did you hear--I expect they kept it, protectively, from you--that your mad father grew more mad? That he went to the king's court and shouted there that you were a minx and a harlot, and the prince a lecher. Those loyal to the kingly house pursued your father. No one knows who. It was in an alleyway. They cut his throat. And I, of course, was disgraced, because I had ill-treated you. They sent us away. I and my daughters, into exile, beyond the border. But they let me keep a share of my widow's money, which was to me a fortune, and we have done very well. It may amuse you to know--or anger you--or gladden you, how can I tell--that both my daughters have married. Their husbands are good men, and very rich. It happened in strange fateful ways. I will not tax you with it, in case I should offend. But, one of these husbands is even handsome, and both value laughter and sweetness. My daughters have blossomed in their care. They do not look ugly anymore, I can even see in them--my younger self. Or, sometimes, you.

So as our path went upwards, lovely girl, sad, lost girl, your declined. When did he begin to hurt you first? The female servant who has helped me says that it was on your wedding night. She says he chained you in a spiked collar like a dog, and used his boots. And worse. Much worse. Does she lie? How I hope so. Maybe they are even lies about the scars upon you. Though once I came back, yes, hidden in my own disguise, and I watched on the street as you passed in the glass carriage. And you were like a bird in a cage. Your hair so pale a black--is there white in your hair? Your eyes that looked about, seeing nothing. Just a glimpse, then gone , like a spring flower, the snow-drop, that is swallowed by the mud.

Listen to me.

Tonight the clever dirty groom wil be at your door, the hidden door your husband uses, but not now, for he is away hunting, is he not, riding down other slender things with his whip and that sack of poison in him called by some his heart. Yes, the groom will be there, and he will have a cloak for you, and papers. And if you go down with him, he will guard you like a child. He knows how, for he too has a daughter now, by his wife that he loves, in their fine house that I have been able to buy for them. You should witness him with this girl child. I think in him, for the very first, I have seen the proper, golden, everyday love of a father. Trust this man, if you will trust me. If ever again you can trust anyone. The border is near, and it is lightly snowing now. By dawn, when you can be far away, the snow will be thick as a wall between you and your hell.

I have bought a house for you, also. It is in a valley. A fountain falls from a cliff, and there are pines that smell of balm. In the summer there was never anywhere a sky so blue. And in winter, the sun is like silver. Even if you never live in it, this place is yours.

You need never see me, never look at me. Of course, of course, I love. I always have. It is the selfish love that finds in another its own self. But I ask nothing of you, only that you will let me set you free. That you will let me set free the one I might have been, the one I was, the one you are.

There is everything I can say. I will put down my pen. The groom takes this to the girl, the girl gives this to you. And now, through the hours of the silent night, I will wait, wondering if you are on the road, flying at midnight, leaving not only a provocative shoe of glass, but all false and empty dreams behind you, the dreams which became nightmares. Or, since I hid you in cold cinders, have you thrown my letter in your burning fire?

it could be

2005-02-06T01:38:00.000+08:00

It Could Be

It could be
The first person to walk through the door
Who makes your heart beat faster
Up to three times more

It could be
The first person you shared secrets with
Stuff you thought you'd never tell
But you just did

It could be
The one who took your parking space
Not even a single blink
On that calm face

It could be
The last person you'd think it would be
It could be you
It could be me
We'll never know
We'll just have to wait and see

not so simple, but maybe it is

2005-02-06T01:34:00.000+08:00

Not So Simple, But Maybe It Is…

The phone stopped ringing.
I think I'm waiting for your call
But how do I talk to you
When I don't know you at all

Sitting down at the corner
Has made the room stop spinning
But how do I stand up again
When my sky's come down crashing

But it's getting better
With every ray of sun
Shining through my door
Yes, it's getting better
I know it's not like before
I just have to remember
I'm not sixteen anymore.

forever

2005-02-06T01:26:00.000+08:00

forever

there was a time
i couldn't wait
when you'd be gone
i've forgotten that date
forever
i had problems i couldn't solve
i hadn't known
it would revolve 'round you
forever
i'm so confused
why can't it be
so comf't'ble
and so easy
just you and me
forever
feelings have ways
of sneaking in
and warming up my heart within
about you and me
forever
there'll be a time
i'm just not sure
when you're away
i'll find a cure
not to keep remembering
our feelings of
forever.

Since You've Been Gone

2005-01-11T15:09:00.000+08:00

"Since You've Been Gone"
Kelly Clarkson

Here's the thing we started off friends
It was cool but it was all pretend
Yeah yeah
Since you've been gone

You dedicated you took the time
Wasn't long till I called you mine
Yeah Yeah
Since you've been gone

And all you'd ever hear me say
Is how I pictured me with you
That's all you'd ever hear me say

But since you've been gone
I can breathe for the first time
Im so movin on
Yeah yeah
Thanks to you
Now I get
What I want
Since you've been gone

How can I put it? You put me on
I even fell for that stupid love song
Yeah yeah
Since you've been gone

How come I never hear you say
I just wanna be with you
I guess you never felt that way

But since you've been gone
I can breathe for the first time
Im so movin on
Yeah yeah
Thanks to you
Now I get I get what I want
Since you've been gone

You had your chance you blew it
Out of sight, out of mind
Shut your mouth I just can't take it
Again and again and again and again
Since you've been gone

I can breathe for the first time
Im so movin on
Yeah yeah
Thanks to you (thanks to you)
Now I get
I get what I want
I can breathe for the first time
Im so movin on
Yeah yeah
Thanks to you (thanks to you)
Now I get (I get)
You should know (you should know)
That I get I get what I want
Since you've been gone
Since you've been gone
Since you've been gone

_____
Hmmm...

I wonder if I really do get what I want now...
Maybe, "what I want" has just become clearer to me, and I've decided to go do something about it...
Maybe....

Sigh.... I think I'll go get me some coffee now....

quiet!!! black sheep talking on New Year's resolutions...

2005-01-04T14:35:00.000+08:00

I'm in an orange shirt with a black sheep logo emblazoned on it.

Of course, my mom found it hilarious when I showed it to her on Christmas day when my sister gave it to me as a present along with other shirts. I don't think I'm that much of black sheep in the family. I hold too many of my sisters' secrets. Hehehe. I'm just special.

Resolutions:

1. Exercise. And be more uh... loyal to it. Of course, weight loss is understood to be a crucial part of this.
2. Get more sleep. The eyebags are turning into luggages.
3. Finish reading stack of books in closet. Started too many. Gotta finish them so I can read more.

I think I'll stick to 3 for the moment. Can't have a whole lifestyle change in a year. I mean, I'm gonna be studying again. Yes, you read right. I'm going to be taking Special Education. You know! Teaching special children---not at all that different from the kids I live with at home. Of course, my whole family thinks they all take after me. Oh well.... Such is the life I lead.

Cheers to the new year! Here's to more wacky stuff for all of us this coming year! Thanks to all the wonderful people who made my last year possible!

So what are YOUR resolutions?

living in the past: an 11 year story

2004-10-29T13:32:00.000+08:00

Here's one for the books...

She was home.

She'd miss life in Australia, her friends, her 6th grade spring formal dance, the fishing trips, the four seasons, the funky clothes, the cute son of her dad's officemate; but that didn't matter as much as being with her sisters again. She's missed them so much. Anyhow, she brought her dog home from Australia, there's more Australia in him to last her a good time.

And a good time was just what she needed right now. Probably just to hang out at the garage and play with her dog, or dunk herself in the water drum to get rid of all the heat. Yeah... Maybe play around with some water. The adults didn't really seem to mind because they knew she was adjusting to the change in climate anyhow.

So that's what she found herself doing one lazy afternoon: spraying people with water, making water drawings on the concrete floor, giving the plants at the backyard a good dousing, watching a cute boy horse around on his skateboard at the secondary road at the back of her house---

Wait. There's a cute boy.

Soon, she would find out that he lived right beside her--well technically, even if there was a small road that separated their houses, and that they were the same age, and that he had pretty eyes with long lashes. Pretty soon, she spent most afternoons outside of her house, playing with the dog on the garage, hanging out at the swing in the front yard, just to get a glimpse of that guy next door.

And the only ones who really knew she had a crush on their neighbor were her sisters, since she told them basically everything. With everyone else, she seemed aloof about the whole idea. Another neighbor of hers, even told her that the guy next door also had a crush on her, but it just wouldn't do for a girl like her to go around and wear her heart on her sleeve. So she just came off as a friendly neighbor, who had more important things to do.

And one of those important things was to compose page upon page of "dear diary" stories about her next door neighbor that got her all giddy. There were times when she would hear a basketball being bounced around in the court next door, and she would run as fast as her spindly thin legs would take her to the garage where she knew her next door neighbor would see her as she pretended to waste her time away.

I mean, who would think of reading a book on the hot concrete ground when there was a climate controlled environment inside her house, or even a chair not far away? She wouldn't, of course, take those since they weren't in his line of view. The whole idea was for him to notice her without it seeming like she was trying to. Then there were those other afternoons where she would climb up on the roof and endured the heat, just because she knew he'd see her there--needless to say she got herself a good tan real often. She would also enjoy walking in the afternoons with her sister, and managed to inhale enough nicotine through second hand smoke from her sister just to get a glimpse of her next door neighbors, ok... and maybe his cute friends.

Sundays were no exception from the rule. The phrase, 'dressed in your Sunday's best' meant more to her than she ever knew, because that was when she would pass by him in the communion line and their eyes would meet for a fraction and on the way back, she search for him in the pews again and flash him a demure smile. Sigh, divine...

They never really talked to each other till this one morning where he invited her to go jogging.

Jogging?! Her?! She was active and all, but jogging just wasn't her thing, and at 5:30 am?! Oh the things she would do just to hang out with him. He brought along another neighbor of theirs--one of his good friends and someone she's known ever since she was 8 years old. They headed to a nearby park, and her heart felt like it was gonna jump out of her chest. Not because she was excited over being with him, though, but because she was so out of shape. As soon as the three of them got in the park, their friend left them and went ahead running around the park since he loved running. The two of them, to her great relief, slowed down to a stroll, and talked about silly stuff akwardly often finding themselves in silence since they couldn't really find anything to talk about. Finally, their friend came back from his rounds and the two readily agreed that they should head on back home.

Oh, those were the days... The two of them hardly speaking a word to the other, and their friend acting as a middle man. Years passed, and being in high school, she found herself meeting different guys and having crushes on them. Getting her next door neighbor to notice her had become second nature to her, and even if she had her guy friends visit her she still felt a twinge of jealousy every time she'd see her next door neighbor specially with their friend's younger sister. It irked her since at that time, there were two guys from her school courting her, showering her with roses and love letters, and the one guy who's been next door all these years had only given her three cards (one of them with her misspelt name before the card's printed hallmark quotes and his after, a type-written Christmas greeting, and an invitation to both her and her 2 year old nephew to his 13th birthday), and three mangoes from the mango tree in their backyard.

A few days before her 18th birthday, she was struck down with a mutated form of chicken pox that got her spending 3 weeks in the hospital in a semi-coma. After which she stayed mostly at home trying to recover with physical therapy and rehab. That was the time when they were having their new house built still in the same subdivision. Everybody on their street had to leave because the land they were on was sold to a huge developer who had huge ideas. After their garage sales, they packed up and left.

No goodbyes to that boy next door. It was well and good anyway, he seemed like he was busy with his own life, and they hardly saw each other. She enjoyed life in college, and he had his own college life to pursue. In fact, she never thought they'd see each other again. Till one afternoon, she was browsing through the bookstore and she saw him at the corner of her eye. There was no mistaking it. It was him. Her heart skipped a few and she chided herself. It was just him and it wasn't like she still had a crush on him. Well, not a huge crush for sure.

Nonetheless, she fell into her old habit of pretending not to notice him, but making sure she was in his line of view. Till finally, he walked by her aisle and acted all surprised that he was there. Lame, yes, but that got her a chance to exchange cellphone numbers. That wasn't the last time they saw each other, they often caught each other in the mall, often from a distance, just waving their hello's and walking off to do whatever they needed to do. Every time she saw him at the mall, she couldn't help but wonder if he was there too.Whenever she'd see even his older sister, she'd look around, hoping not to be too obvious, just checking if he was in the area as well. She'd see him at the cemetery as well whenever he'd be visiting his dad and she'd be visiting hers. But that was only once a year and rarely happened as well.

She saw less and less of him. He had caught up with her on a friend finding community on the internet one time, and she saw that he had a girlfriend. Duh! Of course he'd have a girlfriend. Wouldn't be surprising if he's had his fair share... Sigh... She's met her own share of guys over the years. Okay, so they not all of them met her standards--a girl's gotta have them--but hey, she was very forgiving. A little too forgiving sometimes over the years. After all, a gaggle of guys, looking for a job, and having a yoyo weight loss and weight gain, had been enough to keep her occupied.

On the eve of her 24th birthday, she had a dinner with her high school friends. All day, she'd been getting advanced greetings on her cellphone. So, it was no surprise to see a greeting on her phone with no name and only a number on it. Her phone was stolen not too long ago and she didn't have all the numbers that she used to have. Although the numbers sparked a memory. It was him. It turns out he was leaving for Wales soon, but he promised that he'd meet up with her before he left.

The days wore on, and she'd placed that promise to the back of her mind. Till one afternoon, she'd come back from her second interview at a job and thought that she could spend her time at the mall. She was surprised to see a message from him on her phone asking if she was free that afternoon. Happy enough from her interview, she readily agreed disputing in her mind whether to tell him that she was hitching a ride from her mom and most probably wouldn't be able to stay long.

She didn't have to. She ended up hanging out with him the whole after till dinner and since her mom knew him, she agreed to let him bring her home. They reminisced about all the old times, confessed to a lot of silly things, shared a lot of what's been going on with their lives. 11 years worth of catching up. He would purposely play basketball at around 3:00pm before because he knew that was the time she'd be out in the garage. He'd gotten into an accident on his scooter because he was looking her way as she read her book up on the roof. He'd go with his dad to church, because he knew she'd be there. His whole family knew he had a crush on her. His friends would prod him to go and court her but he was too shy. His sister would text him if she saw her at the mall and then he's rush from his house giving any sort of excuse just to be able to catch her. He'd savor all the times, that she'd send him a message greeting him on his birthday. One time, when she wasn't able to greet him, he'd almost gotten depressed that day. He got so jealous every time he saw a guy pass by her house. He never dated their friend's younger sister, he was asking her about what girls liked. He's never forgotten little things like her greeting him and everybody else on New Year's Eve. And over the years, he'd even replay that memory every new year's eve. She was, as he'd said, the Girl of His Dreams. He regretted being too shy before, being too slow, and when he finally got the courage to say all these things to her, they lose contact. They had a wonderful time together. So wonderful, that they agreed to meet up the next day as he got his tickets. His one way ticket.

They had a picture together. Their first. And when he brought her home, he asked her to be careful of guys that she met, because he wouldn't be there to protect her. He always dreamt of being married to her. Having kids with her. Who knows what'll happen in the future? Tears fell from her eyes. Here was a guy she's known and had the biggest crush on since she was 12 years old going on 13 and someone she was still getting to know and she was saying goodbye to him because he had to leave and wouldn't be back for two years or maybe longer.

He's leaving on the 1st of November on a 730pm flight on Emirates.

And just like before, she'd be home.

one dreary tuesday afternoon...

2004-10-05T14:38:00.000+08:00

Things to do in Starbucks when you're bored:

1. Start texting people on your cellphone and let them know that you're bored. Hint heavily at being all alone and being bored.

2. Collect Starbucks tissue and create an origami zoo or at least something that resembles one.

3. Play Triple Pop on your cellphone and say "BOOM!", "POW!", "SCORE!" everytime you get points. Say them loudly.

4. Get a few cups of water, set them on the table in front of the empty seats, and have a "tea party" with your imaginary friends.

5. Grab a tray and start clearing up tables for new customers and cough discreetly for a tip. (Money and something to do!)

6. If you're at a seat by a glass wall, stick your face on the glass and mash your face around making faces at the passers-by.

7. If you're at a seat by a glass wall, get tissue paper and write "Save Me!!!" by borrowing a pen from the counter and stick it on the glass complete with puppy dog eyes when someone passes by.

*NOTE: Borrowed pens can lead to other interesting things to do.

8. Get packets of sugar, brown and white, and empty them in separate tissues, tie them off and label each one for all the people you're giving gifts to this Christmas.

9. Get coffee stirrers and try tying each one into a knot like a cherry stem. With your tongue.

10. Sleep on one of their couches or armchairs, and snore loudly.

K2

2004-08-22T14:32:00.000+08:00

What Do We Mean To Each Other
Sergio Mendez

I'd rather know if you have turned the page. If you go faster than I do. Suddenly, it's not so clear. Just what I am to you? Am I friend, am I lover? Do we still need each other? When you touch me, when you touch me... Baby, I can't tell... What do we mean to each other? Am I friend, am I lover? Is is over now? If this is it, then why bother?

Tell me where do we take it from here? What do we mean to each other? Am I friend, am I lover? Is it over now? Do you love me still? Or do you just mean well?

I can see clearly how I'm hurting you. Ev'ry breath steals you away. Are we going in sep'rate roads? Has pride got in the way? Am I friend, am I lover? Do we still need each other? When you hold me, when you hold me... Baby, I can't tell... What do we mean to each other? Am I friend, am I lover? Is is over now? If this is it, then why bother? Tell me where do we take it from here? What do we mean to each other? Am I friend, am I lover? Is it over now? Do you love me still? Or do you just mean well...

Time became the poison working slowly on my heart. Throwing all our memories. Is it tearin' us apart? When you touch me, when you touch me... Baby, I can't tell... What do we mean to each other? Am I friend, am I lover? Is is over now? If this is it, then why bother? Tell me where do we take it from here? What do we mean to each other? Am I friend, am I lover? Is it over now? Do you love me still? Or do you just mean well? What do we mean to each other? Am I friend, am I lover? Is it over now? Do you love me still? Or do you just mean well?

Ooh...

Do you love me still?
Or do you just mean well?

it's a new sort of forever

2004-08-22T13:43:00.000+08:00

It's a curse to have a journal at home and to have a blog online specially when you're only on prepaid internet.
(pldt DSL gods, where art thou?! you're cramping my style!!!)

Ok, so why is this a new sort of forever?

Well, first off, I just heard the acoustic rendition of my poem-turned-song done by a friend of mine who's in LA. Very Dashboard Confessional-ish. He's sending me a copy of the album by the end of this year with my song in it. hehehe. Royalties here I come. Ha! Suuuuure royalties my arse. I must be insane...

I've paid my dues, time after time. I've done my sentence, but committed no crime. And bad mistakes, I've made a few. I've had my share of sand kicked in my face, but I've come through.

I have just gone through a week of staying at home and tutoring my nephew. Actually that was two weeks, but hey, I'm not really in the same time frame as the rest of the world anyhow. So another reason for a new sort of forever, is the option that my mom's been heavily hinting at: that I stay in the States for like 6 months, get a job there, then probably go back here while I wait for the company to work on my working VISA.

For someone who doesn't really think about the future in a clear way, this has further befuddled my brains. In fact, I'm so blitzed out now that I can only think of checking out the new stuff on tianggeonline.

I think I can. I think I can.

not itsumo.

2004-07-15T14:14:00.000+08:00

Itsumo kokoro we hoshi itstuka
Dare katu mata koi nei utchitimu
Itsumo kokoro nei eiro itsumo
Anata dake no basho ga aru kara

ok, so here i am, too lazy to find out what the english translation of this chorus is. and there you are asking yourself: "Is this what occupies her time now?!"

should i even regale you with an answer to that and tell you of the neverending saga of telenovelas known as my life?

well, i guess i should spill some of the beans while i'm at it. although these aren't your hoity toity 5 star resto kind of beans smothered in delectable wine sauce served in an itsy bitsy plate but filled with grandeur. these are your ordinary garden-at-the-backyard-fence-of-your-neighbor-alongside-the-weeds variety.

i've been immersed in the strains of almost every song played on mtv. (in my UHF tv that has yet to see the wonderness of the world in full color in the 70+ channels on cable.)

and i say almost every song, because there are two songs that i've been avoiding like the plague.

one is hoobastank's The Reason and the other is 311's Love Song. perfectly normal songs, right? in fact, i even loved these songs--the operative word being "loveD". why? plain and simple, "i was NOT the reason", and "i can never be alone with him and he can never make me feel like i am whole again".

see? telenovela.

oh well, the rain's pouring. i need coffee. oh by the way, itsumo means always or forever. and no, my life's not going to be like this forever. don't worry, i'm working on it.

chaddict revisited

2004-06-11T14:17:00.000+08:00

yes yes... been a while...
but hey! at least i'm back. in a matter of speaking anyway...

the complexities of my loss of internet access still baffle the considerate techies at parksquare. so while i've been dwelling on the loss of my metallic confidant (pathetic sounding, ain't it?) i've loss contact with well, pretty much everything.

1. i can't check my emails.
ok, so that doesn't sound much, but for someone constantly bombarded by the notifications of evil people from the world of penis enlargements and online dating conspiracies, checking email has to be kinda constant specially when i'm waiting for mail other than walang kamatayan chain letters and sob stories.

[email#1] JOB OPPORTUNITY AT...
[email#2] OPENING AT...
[SPAM] PENIS ENLARGEMENT. MAKE YOUR WOMAN HAPPY NOW.
[email#3] POSITION AVAILABLE SEND YOUR RESUME TO...

2. i can't chat.
i'm a chaddict, undeniable. i think the lure of checking people out on the web is about as strong as me needing a job right now--yes yes yes... i can hear the tsk tsk tsk right now.

my medreppy friend would be the first on that tsk-tsk'er list.

[medreppy] (complete with a smirk and a nudge) ey, glads. how many of those people in your phonebook aren't chatters?
[g] hold on. (scrolling down on phonebook) uhm... there's... MOMMY... my sisters... uh....
[medreppy] wag na. that's going to take long pa. make me libre na lang.

oh what wonderful friends.

3. speaking of friends, i can't check friendster.
yes... friendster. at one point or another, i joined in a couple of "communities" that would connect me to even more people and thus proving that it IS a small world after all. i've forgotten what other stuff i've joined in, but funny enough, i stuck to friendster and ok, the occasional myspace.

[ASL] ey you have friendster?
[g] yeah i do. :)
[ASL] can i add you?

medyo i don't know pa this person. haaay wuteber....

[g] sure.

sigh... the possiblities are endless... and i'll get back to them some time. i need to find other outlets for my boredom.

"Sa totoo lang nagparebond ka noh?"

2004-03-12T13:18:00.000+08:00

"'Di ah, shinampoo ko lang yan. Kayo, ha."

what's the fascination/obssession with having "San-Cai" straight hair? my officemates have a hair straightening iron as a permanent fixture in the office. And the girls offer to make plantsa each other's hair.

i myself enjoy having straight hair once in a while; but doesn't it get boring when you have straight hair day in and day out?

well, i'm about to find out. i'm going to have my hair rebonded in hong kong. (if i wasn't going to have it done, i was already planning on getting me one of those irons to spare me the hassle of blowdrying my hair straight whenever i feel like it.)

yeah, my sister says it's cheaper there. so i'm gonna look like a hongkee by may. whoopti doo.

i miss having longer hair. my hair's just passed my shoulders and it looks like the growing-out stage. i hate it when ever i have my hair cut then i neglect it for some time and the niceness of the hair cut disappears because it grew out. so since i'm headed to the US for april, my hair should grow about an inch more and it won't look so short when i have it rebonded. right?

water: the amazing insider secret

2004-03-04T12:41:00.000+08:00

the human body is made up of 90% water.

now if i can only keep up this grueling task of drinking all this water without feeling like the water's going back up my throat.

i've been wracking the internet for sites that will tell me how to lose 5lbs in 3 days. and this is what i've proudly come up with:

"See. If you drink eight glasses of water (and add one glass for every 20 pounds of overweight you have) a day -- divided more or less evenly throughout the day -- your body will GIVE UP those 5-10 lbs. of water it currently RETAINS."

5-10 lbs! did you read that? wow... if i don't end up drowning myself, i could even lose 10 lbs of water!

how sad is that?
after that, i'll just have to start exercising and eating right. i have to start fitting into my clothes again.

agenda. phase one.

veronica moment

2004-03-04T08:43:00.000+08:00

there was this one strip in the archie comic book series where veronica woke up one morning feeling like she stepped off a cloud. and it's all flowery and pink. a beautiful morning in other words.

then she goes and does the first of her morning rituals.

she steps on the scale.

next scene, is the whole lodge manor awakened by a shrill scream.

veronica, as the strip so colorfully depicted, gained 5lbs.

that's how i felt this morning. i wanted to scream. no actually, i was shocked that the weight i was seeing on the scale was still the same weight i saw the other day when i thought i just had water retention.

just a few days back, people were complementing me on how i look like i lost weight. i was just thinking then how they couldn't be more than wrong. i had already gained 3 lbs then, but still people said i lost weight.

now, aside from the fact that i, myself, could see the weight gain, someone else did as well.

WHY?!?!?!

i swear i'm not having dinner tonight. too much rice is already my downfall. waaaaaaaaaaaah! i think i need more veggies as well. my innards aren't clean. i think that's also a huge chunk of the weight there. cos my weight gain is entirely too rapid.

bear with me.

the last time i weighed like this was when i was in college and fresh out of the hospital. now i have no excuse.

agenda set.

the coffee's not working

2004-03-03T11:48:00.000+08:00

do you have those days where you just can't seem to keep your eyes open?

i seem to be having those days in spades.

the whole week i found myself falling asleep at my desk 'cos i was so bored. i was seeing double. the last time this happened to me was in college in my philosophy class.

i haven't had my dose of caffeine for the day. in fact, i'm trying to cut down on my caffeine. basically because my choice of coffee is laden with cream, sugar, and chocolate--you know what that spells.

and in any case, too much of caffeine is bad for my skin and it already looks like hell to begin with. specially with this derma medication finally beginning to work. (i think my skin's being burnt)

i'm a certified coffee addict.
but the coffee's not working.
it lets me gain weight.
it wreaks havoc on my skin.

and i only have one sachet. i think i'll need to bring two to keep me up.

one hit wonders

2004-02-20T16:06:00.000+08:00

in my quest to keep my eyes open this, uh, boring friday afternoon, i found myself the lyrics to Liz Phair's song Extraordinary.

You think that I go home at night
Take off my clothes, turn out the lights
But I burn letters that I write
To you, to make you love me

(well, not really. no voodoo boo bakaloo loo for me)

Yeah, I drive naked through the park
And run the stop sign in the dark
Stand in the street, yell out my heart
To make, to make you love me

(i know i can be crazy at times, but not really to the point where i'd scandalize the neighbors. i don't think they can get anything out of it anyway.)

I am extraordinary, if you'd ever get to know me
I am extraordinary, I am just your ordinary
Average every day sane psycho
Supergoddess
Average every day sane psycho

(bingo.)

You may not believe in me
But I believe in you
So I still take the trash out
Does that make me too normal for you?

(don't think i can be that normal.)

So dig a little deeper, cause
You still don't get it yet
See me lickin' my lips, need a primitive fix
And I'll make, I'll make you love me

(more like animalistic)

I am extraordinary, if you'd ever get to know me
I am extraordinary, I am just your ordinary
Average every day sane psycho
Supergoddess
Average every day sane psycho
Supergoddess

See me jump through hoops for you
You stand there watching me performing
What exactly do you do?
Have you ever thought it's you that's boring?
Who the hell are you?

(if i ever reach that point in a relationship, remind me to give myself a twoink in the head.)

I am extraordinary, if you'd ever get to know me
I am extraordinary, I am just your ordinary
Average every day sane psycho
Supergoddess
Average every day sane psycho

Average every day sane psycho
Supergoddess
Average every day sane psycho

Average every day sane psycho
Supergoddess
Average every day sane psycho

Average every day sane psycho

(supahstahr!)

talk the talk

2004-02-18T10:55:00.000+08:00

[glad]: Hi, good morning. Can I please be connected to your Sales Department?
: Hi, this is Glady from (that computer company). Ma'am/Sir (that computer company) is holding a seminar this coming March and we'd like to invite you.
: We're going to be launching a new computer program called (that program). Is it alright if I ask a few questions to update our database?
: May I know who I'm speaking with?
: And your designation is?
: Ma'am/Sir would you happen to know what software or program the company is using right now?
: For how long have you been using that?
: OK, would it be alright if we sent you an invitation to the seminar maybe through fax or email?
: Can I have a fax number please?
: Do you have an email address we can contact you with?
: Thank you very much for your time.

Say all of this with a smile. It generally works.
Of course there are other instances when the person on the other end of the line replies with questions of their own...

[guy]: What does (the initials of that company) stand for?
[girl]: What line of business does your company do?
[lady]: Where'd you get our number?
or
[lady]: Who gave you my number?
[guy]: Are you sure you're calling my company?

and there are funny comments from the persons on the other line as well...

[guy]: Marunong ka pala mag-Tagalog! Nauubusan na ako ng Ingles, eh!
[boy]: I think you have the wrong number. By the way, may I know who this is please?
[lady]: Dadalawa lang kami dito sa office at tatlo lang computer namin eh.
[girl]: Our officer-in-charge is out of country today.

it gets better.

shredders

2004-02-18T10:09:00.000+08:00

yesterday my office mate who fancies himself, young at heart, decided to do some spring cleaning.

and one thing i noticed was that he was tearing up those pages with a vengance.

[glad]: You need a shredder.
[YaH]: (rolls his eyes) Kailangan nga pero mahal daw.

then just a few minutes ago, my other office mate, the Ina Raymundo, starts cleaning up her desk as well, also cutting her papers to bits and pieces, and complains to Ms. Gorgeous behind me.

[Ina]: 'Lam mo, kailangan natin ng shredder.
[Gorgeous]: 'Bat nga wala tayo nun?
[Ina]: Hirap kasi pini-pick-up lang basura natin.

where do you go and find a shredder?
i've always wanted one actually...

confused...

2004-02-18T08:33:00.000+08:00

i still have no idea how to go about this silly thing.

i usually find these things out on my own.

why do i need someone now?

i think i just miss old friends who always thought i needed guidance. now those same friends let me be cos they think i can handle stuff--which is precisely what i want them to think.

i just miss those days...

2004-02-18T08:06:00.000+08:00

how does this thingy work?

aaarggh!! i'm gonna learn how this works even if i'm not allowed to browse during work hours.

everyone's on a break anyway...

2004-02-18T07:51:00.000+08:00

Blog.

I actually have one.

I just wanna test it out really.

Now, I feel like those people who have just discovered friendster after denying ever needing to be in touch with old friends just to find out that even their parents have their own friendster accounts.

Let's see what this baby can do...